Atelophobia
by sickseahorse
Summary: In this story, a sixteen-year-old Amity girl is forced to make the decision that will change her life forever. This decision leads her into making new friends while also new enemies. When she finds herself in the path of the pierced up, muscular Dauntless leader, Eric, what will happen between the two of them? Not good with summaries, but hopefully this is alright. Eric/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone. I do not own anyone other than my own characters, the rest belong to Veronica Roth. This is only a story based off of her own Divergent Trilogy. I will be keeping Eric as the actor who was portraying him in the Divergent movie, Jai Courtney, because he is gorgeous. Why else?  
Also, there may be some grammatical errors, but I will try to make sure everything is correct. If the way I type bothers anyone, I am sorry. Do not read if my typing irritates you.  
Also, this story will include divergents. I'm only adding this because I know some stories omit them. I will not be doing so.  
I am also rating this story M because I might add some risky things later in the story. I'm not sure yet.  
Anyways,  
hope everyone who reads this enjoys! This is my first story on this account, since I forgot my password to my other one. I love to get reviews by the way! (:  
-Sarah  
_**

"Give freely, trusting that you will also be given what you need"

The words rang in my head as I lay in the bright green grass of the Amity fields. I had the Amity manifesto memorized, even as a little girl. My mom would recite  
it as she combed through my long blonde hair. Today, I find out where I belong,  
and I know it will not be Amity.

The people here are always happy. I will never understand how they can do it. Even my mother is always smiling. I, on the other hand, change moods like it's my profession. I can never stay happy, no matter what I try to believe. Sometimes I am angry or sad. These emotions come as disappointments to these people, but to me they are typical feelings; they are normal. It sits like a weight in my heart knowing that I will never be able to fulfill a life as a happy human being, bringing peace and love wherever I went. It doesn't matter if I wear the red and yellow, sing along with the others, or strum the banjo. I will never fit in with these people.

My name is Sarah Nicholas. I am around 5'1. My hair is golden with sunlit highlights. It is long, and reaches the small of my back. My skin is tan from endless days of resting in the grass while the sun beats down like an oven. I wear no makeup, but my green eyes still burn with just as much intensity as two emeralds. In just a couple of days, this is all my family will have of me to remember. I will have left them.

I have a brother named Christopher, who unlike me, fits right in with the Amity. He is sweet and compassionate. His face radiates with a smug expression of happiness and kindness. I am jealous of him, not because of his beautiful nature, but because he will make our family proud.

"Sarah, we need to leave now. It is time"

My mother stood by a tree, watching me with a troubled expression. I sighed and stood up, wiping the grass from my legs. My brother soon appeared by her side carrying three pieces of bread.

"I thought we might get hungry, since we'll be gone for a while and the drive is pretty long". He said with bread crumbs stumbling out of his mouth.

"You know I don't like the bread Christopher", I muttered.

"Yes, but I do. I got a couple extras for me" he said with a smile. He passed a piece of bread to my mother, who still stared at me with an expression of fear. My mother always wondered why I didn't like the bread. I always thought it just tasted funny though. I never saw it as a sign of defiance or betrayal. My mother often scolded me when I would refuse to eat it during meals. I could never understand why, and soon, gave up on trying to.

We all climbed into an old, rusty truck. It smelt of wheat and hot metal. The seats squeaked as I squirmed to get comfortable. My mother was in the front with Christopher in the seat next to her. I sat alone in the back, gazing at the fields that seemed to never end as far as I could see. I always wondered what was out there.

I heard the engine sputter as the car came to life. We soon began moving forward, the golden strands of grass waving goodbye as we slurred past them. 

"Now both of you listen", my mother began "I want you to know that even though this test tells you where they think you belong, you decide that on your own. Also know that no matter what you choose," she paused and I caught her glimpsing back at me through the rearview-mirror "I will still love you both unconditionally".

My heart sunk. She knew I didn't belong here. She knew I was going to leave.

I nervously held my arms close to my body. I felt sick to my stomach. What if the test did tell me I belong in Amity? Would I feel relieved or trapped? No, there's no possible way the test could give me those results. I was as far from Amity as the dauntless were.

I shuddered. I remember the stares the dauntless gave me as they strode by me with confidence. Their chins turned up and their shoulders spread out, they marched on past me as if I didn't exist.

Even though I had never had a boyfriend, I knew that there were boys who liked me. My brother always told me I should give them a chance, but I never saw myself as a charmer. I didn't have any real experience with boys, and the thought of forcing myself to go on a date made me cringe. Some boys at school would whistle at me, but I would just ignore or even scowl at them. This behavior, of course, is another reason I know I am not made for Amity.

But if I didn't belong here… where did I belong?  
_

"Sarah Nicholas"

I looked up. My arms shaking and my lip quivering, I stood up. My legs felt as if they would give in at any moment. Knees buckling, I moved forward. A Dauntless woman stood in the doorway, motioning me inside. She had tattoos dancing up her arm in intricate patterns and designs. She was wearing a black long-sleeved crop top with a pair of tight leather, high-waisted pants. Her military boots made her look strong, but her beauty allowed the feminine element she had to slightly glow among her. She had long curly hair that crept down her back like a black wave. Her lips were a dark mauve color that complimented her olive skin. I was instantly jealous. Someone so stunning appeared powerful in her dauntless wear while I looked childish and ditsy in my bright yellow t-shirt and red shorts.

Entering the room I felt a gush of air conditioning scoot down my neck, causing small bumps to form on the top of my skin. The t-shirt I had on provided little warmth. Its main purpose was to expose my skin for the sun to drink up, letting my body absorb the heat the bright orb gave off.

The room's walls were covered in mirrors, allowing my reflection to prance across them, mocking me with my bright colors.

"My name is Jacqueline. I will be recording your results from your aptitude test today. Now, please sit down".

I nodded with a frown, which was another accessory the Amity rejected, and stepped towards the seat in which she had referred to. It looked intimidating but interesting at the same time. Something drew me towards it. What it was, I did not know.

She handed me a small, oddly shaped glass. "Drink this", she directed.

"What is it? It smells strange", I said while sniffing it hesitantly.

"Don't ask questions, Amity. Just drink it" she scolded.

I raised my eyebrows in a mocking way and sniffed it again, bringing it to my lips.

"Bottoms up", she added.

I slugged it down. The blue-ish liquid left a funky after taste in my mouth. I grimaced. Slowly, everything around me became blurry. I went out.

I opened my eyes. I was in the room, but Jacqueline was nowhere to be seen. I stood up slowly, confusion flashing through my body like adrenaline. But still, I was so interested. What was going on? This must be part of the test.

"Choose."

I turned around to see my reflection standing next to two podiums. In one, there was a block of cheese. In the other, a sword. I looked up at my reflection. She nodded towards the podiums.

"Choose."

"What for?" I asked. What was I having to choose for? None of this was making sense to me.

"Fine then, don't." she said dully.

Suddenly I heard a snarling behind me. I spun around to see a large dog with foam escalading from its mouth. I could feel my heart skipping through my chest as if it was its own being, begging to escape from my body and flee.

Think. Think. Think.

I should've picked one. God I'm so stupid. Hard-headed, stubborn, and stupid. 

The dog advanced, a low growl humming from its mouth like a chainsaw. Suddenly, it leaped forward. Running now, it began to approach me at a frightening speed.

THINK.

Being the first thing to pop into my head, I flung myself to the ground. I waited to feel the dogs jaws tearing at my flesh, but nothing happened. I heard a whimper, almost sounding like a small puppy. Once again confused, I looked up. Instead of a beastly animal charging towards me, a small puppy was wiggling around on the ground. I smiled and reached out to it, petting the top of its head.

"Aw, a puppy!" I heard a small girl exclaim. I turned my head slightly, seeing a little Amity girl with a little red dress on beckoning the puppy towards her. I giggled, indulging in the sight of the little girl being so happy. It's nice to see other people so touched when on the inside you're battling yourself.

Another vicious growl caught my attention, and I looked down to what I had just seen as a puppy to now appear once again as the grown dog. He lunged at her causing a scream to escape her mouth.

Instantly, I reached for the dog. I grabbed his neck just in time to prevent its jaws from snapping at her arm. Yanking it towards me, the tuft of hair I had felt in my hands seconds before were now gone. Looking around me, I noticed the little girl and the dog had both disappeared.

I sighed. This was getting frustrating.

The scenery around me changed, and I was now sitting on a bench near the Erudite headquarters. The tall buildings towered around me reflecting the sun's beams with their mirrored exterior.

"Do you know this man?" a tall, skinny man asked me. He was sweating like crazy and smelt of alcohol. His spidery fingers were pointing towards a crumpled flyer that was being held with his other hand. He had a worried expression on his face.

On the flyer he was holding, I saw a man with dark brown hair. His eyebrows thick and furrowed, he wore a gentle expression. His cheekbones protruded from his face making him look young, but in his eyes you could see the wisdom of a man who looked after his family for many years. The man in the Flyer was my father.

Outraged, I faintly replied with a flat "No". My father had been killed many years ago when I was only ten. How, I was never told. In order to keep her kind and happy order, my mother did not speak of his death. I saw that only as making matters worse. But to add onto my mother's grief my demanding fury, I did not have the heart to do. I had loved my father to an endless extent. There is no doubt that his death had changed me. My brother and I were both broken. Though he was still able to portray the flawless happy mask the Amity all adorned themselves with, I could not.

Why would this man toy around with this subject? He must not have a brain to probe me with his drunken ignorance. I would not satisfy his pleading.

"Please! You can save me! Tell me, do you know this man? Do not lie!" he begged. Sweat continued to drip down the side of his face in glistening beads. Save him? I don't think so.

I swallowed the instinct to slap him so hard he'd be dizzy, and looked him in the eye.  
"I have no idea who the man you're asking about is"

****

I woke up gasping for air, my lungs imbibing any oxygen they could find. I bolted up, my back aching as if I had been cramped in that chair for hours. My hands were red. I'm guessing that I had been gripping the arm rests too tightly.

"Get up", Jacqueline ordered. Her face was serious and urgent at the same time. Her lips were pursed and her eyes were wide and alert. "You need to go home before the supervisors come in. You will not tell anyone your results-"

"My results?" I interrupted. "You haven't even told me them. What are they? What is going on?"

"Listen. For anyone who asks, you got Amity", she paused and added in a low voice, "Because that is what I put into the system". She moved her hand to my back and started pushing me forward lightly. Her gaze dropped and she closed her eyes for an instant. As I spoke, she brought them back up to meet mine.  
"That's what you put? What does that mean? What were my real results?" I asked hurriedly. She was rushing me out so quickly. I couldn't leave without knowing my test results! "I can't leave without knowing!"

"Your test came back inconclusive." She stated. 

"That's impossible. What was my result?" I demanded.

"Amity… and Erudite, and Dauntless". She whispered with a desperate look on her face. 

"But… b-but that can't happen", I stuttered.

"It can happen, and it did. It's just extremely rare." She looked me in the eye "They call it divergent. You can't let anyone know your test results; it's too dangerous. Not even your parents can know. Keep your mouth shut about it if you want to stay alive"

"Stay alive?" I gasped. "What is divergent and why am I in danger?"

I was practically yelling now, but I didn't care. I needed answers.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you. You need to leave Sarah"

"No!" I screamed. "The test was supposed to tell me what to pick! I need to know, please! Just please what do I do!"

"The test did not work on you" she spat, "I suggest picking your original faction. Other than that, you are on your own. Now leave".

She gave me a pitiful glance and then scooted me out of the door, slamming it behind me.

I was now on my own, left to face the decision that would change my life forever. One choice that could wreck me, and I had no help on making it.

I was alone. 

**I hope you all enjoyed my first chapter! Thank you for reading it, and like I said up top I do enjoy reviews. They are very helpful to me and inspire me to keep writing. Also, I know I get a little hasty with the commas… haha, yes. Please just try to ignore any errors in the story, and I hope you continue to read as long as I keep updating! Thank you!**

**(:  
-Sarah**


	2. Chapter 2

I sulked back home in my own confusion. Right now, I don't feel like I have the slightest clue of who I am. I saw others making their way about town, skirting down the streets with an expressionless face slapped on. I wish I felt like they looked. Empty. Instead I was bubbling inside. So many feelings at once.

I approached the vehicle my mom had brought us in, and leaned against it. The cool metal brought relief to my tense muscles. I tried to relax, but I just couldn't. How could I make the biggest decision of my life tomorrow without having any information to help me choose? Five factions, but a million questions. Am I brave, honest, selfless, curious, or kind? Am I all?

The thought of leaving my family behind to begin a whole new life with new people terrified me, but what scared me even more was the thought of forcing myself to stay.

My forehead pounded with endless possibilities. I tried to force them all away, to just think positively like the Amity did, but to no surprise I could not.

After about a half hour of these questioning thoughts, my brother appeared with my mom walking beside him, his arm draping around her shoulder. They both wore smiles that you could just look at and feel the warmth they contained. Instead of delivering me any hope, their smiles piled even more weight on my shoulders.

I will not stay in Amity.

_

The ride back home was quiet and thoughtful. The silence left me with my thoughts pressing against my skull, but also gave me time to peel each one apart and digest it.

I am not honest.

My aptitude test proved that. I lied to that man with great ease. It did not pain me to know that the truth was alive in my brain with bursting jolts of electricity and I had put it behind bars. I had looked him in his eyes, and lied to his face.

I am not selfless.

No facts are needed to back this one up. Anyone who knows me knows that I can be self-indulgent. I do not always lean to the option of helping others, even if I do feel incriminated from admitting it. 

I am kind.

I would not let that little girl fall in the fate of harm. I would protect her. I love my family. I would protect them.

I am Curious

I wonder this and that, and question many things. I am often finding myself looking for answers, opening and closing certain doors in my midst of finding them.

Am I brave?

This is the one question that was nailed securely to my thoughts. Yes, I leapt onto the dog. Does that prove enough for me? How would I know if I was Brave?

_

I crept into my room, the green walls comforting me in my stressful moment. I was exhausted from my warring thoughts. It was me vs. my own mind. Right now, my mind was winning. I was tired. Sleep floated over me like a grey cloud, bearing a long days-worth amount of water that was impatiently waiting to empty over my head. Changing from the clothes I no longer felt comfortable in, I pulled out some orange pajama pants and a white long-sleeved shirt. Slipping them on, I pulled the soft white covers out from the neat position I had put them in earlier. I flicked off the light switch and cozied myself in my bed. The covers wove around my body like a plush cloud. It all was too much for me. I soon found myself sleepily knocking at the door that led to me rest, and let myself in.

_

I woke up with a fuzzy head and a heavy body. My thoughts had prevented a good night's sleep for me. Unfortunately I was already running late. I brushed through my hair, and threw on a pair of yellow jeans. I left my long-sleeved shirt on and just slung over it a red leather jacket. Lastly I slipped on some white sneakers and bolted through the door.

I ran to the car that was already vibrating with life, my mother and Christopher already in it. As I entered the back seat, he passed me a chocolate-chip muffin. These, on the other hand, I loved. They didn't have the strange taste to them like the bread did. I found it strange, but always decided not to care.

We rushed towards the choosing ceremony. I could hear my mother singing faintly to the music emitting from the car. It usually soothed me, but right now I found it to be quite annoying. I had no idea what I was going to choose. It was not easy to focus when my mother's soft voice kept coaxing my attention.

I wonder if my brother is facing the same war I am right now. No, he couldn't be. My brother is an obvious pick. Always looking out for others, throwing a smile on his face and carrying the light, carefree attitude the Amity were known for. I couldn't picture him in black, blue, or grey. The bright colors he wore now were fitting enough for his beautiful personality. It will be painful to leave it behind.

_

We sat in the amity section, conversation roaring around us as members of each faction arrived. Thankfully we had gotten there on time, but late enough to save us the wait.

Jeanine Matthews, a blonde-headed Erudite with a striking sense of knowledge, stood in the center of the stage. All attention was on her. She carried on her speech of how the factions were formed and what each one stood for.

"The future belongs to those who know where they belong"

The words struck me like a belt. Do I know where I belong? I felt my heart sink low into my stomach. No, I do not think I do.

Next, Marcus Eaton, an abnegation government leader appeared. He began to call names. Hearing each person called, I began to shake. It first started in my hands but then spread throughout my body. As my name neared, I was now numb. Scared out of my mind, I knew I would have to decide soon.

The first person to transfer was a candor boy. He had chosen Erudite. I looked at his parents, who I only identified by their tears. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Was I really going to leave my family like he had, with only their tears to remember him by?

"Christopher Nicholas"

My heart stopped. My brother stood up, his usual smile still resting on his face, and started down the steps towards the stage. He casually walked up and slit his hand. I was too far away to see the blood, but I could feel it like a drip of sweat oozing down my neck.

At least my mom would have him. 

"Abnegation"

I heard Marcus's words like a bullet in my brain. Claps were heard quietly afterwards. I tried to imagine my brother in all grey. No skin showing, and a blank expression on his usually glowing face. I pictured him passing food out to the factionless and helping the elderly among the city. Not looking in any mirrors, not speaking at the dinner table, nothing self-indulgent. This is the life my brother has chosen for himself.

My mother reached over and grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze. I looked at her. She turned to me and smiled.

"Do not weigh yourself down for your brother, and especially not for me", she whispered.

Nothing could change my mind now. Whatever I would choose, it would not be Amity.

"Sarah Nicholas"

I stood up. Any fear I had during the aptitude test was nothing compared to the thumping of my heart now. I felt as if a thousand eyes were on me, probably because they were. I breathed in slowly as I made my way towards the stage. I felt as if my insides could fling out of my mouth at any moment. I must choose now.

I took the knife from Marcus and brought it to my hand. I sliced it open, letting the blood slip from the cut. I lifted my hand above the bowls. They sat on the table like five silent sides of me. Each one portrayed a life that I could begin at any moment.

It is time.

I moved my hand over one of the bowls. I let a drop of blood fall, hearing the sizzling of coals as it carried me to a new world.

"Dauntless"

I do know the answer to my question.

Yes.

I am brave.

**Hey everyone! I am trying to upload as much as I can in this little amount of time. I hope whoever reads this enjoyed the second chapter. The third one will be up soon as well. Thank you for reading (:**

- Sarah


	3. Chapter 3

**Yes, I am following some of the events the actual book had gone through. It is just the beginning. I will be changing a lot of it, so do not worry! (:  
Please enjoy.**

**-Sarah  
_**

I heard loud cheering after my result had been announced. I walked towards the crowd of black. Their faces twisted into cheerful smiles and wicked smirks. Most of them were standing with their fists beating in the air. The ones who stayed in their seats were smacking their hands together loudly. I couldn't help but let a small smile creep onto my face at their enthusiasm for having me.

It is not often that an Amity transfers to Dauntless. It is no mystery why.

My heart quickened as I approached them. I sat in a seat next to a girl with a long, brown braid. She had piercings in her lip and a tattoo creeping up her neck. She looked at me and smacked my shoulder with an encouraging grin. The stinging in my shoulder was nothing compared to the tingling inside my body. I looked at my mom who sat with the smile she always had still there. There was a mixture of relief, regret, and guilt swirling through me as I looked away.

When they were done calling names, we all stood up and began rushing through the doors like a sea of dark colors. I, of course, stood out in the waves with my bright clothing shining.

We ran down the stairs, hoots and hollers shooting out from everyone. I was in good shape from running the fields almost every day, so this was no real problem for me. Another small drop of relief found its way into me.

We then approached the train. It loomed over us with great height. They began climbing the pillars that supported it. This, once again, did not frighten me. In order to be one of them, I had no choice anyways. I climbed up, taking caution of where I put each foot, and soon was at the top. We stood, waiting for the train. It was no secret what was about to happen. The dauntless were seen daily flinging themselves onto the trains. As soon as we heard its roaring I was ready. It came shooting down like a stallion charging through. I began to run along its flank like everyone else was doing. The dauntless members began leaping onto it with ease. I ran for a little longer and without thinking any more of it, I jumped on. I stumbled in, hitting a brunette candor girl. She wore a white blazer with a black chiffon blouse underneath it. It was neatly tucked into her black skinny jeans that contrasted nicely with her white flats.

"Sorry", I muttered towards her. I did not have any intentions of making anyone mad not even an hour into choosing my new faction.

"Its ok Amity, it's called shoving. I thought you guys were familiar with politeness", she said with a wide smile. Her teeth glistened against her pale skin. She stuck her hand out towards me. "My name is Vera".

I smiled back at her and shook her hand. "Obviously I'm not too sharp with the ways of the Amity. Nice to meet you Vera, I'm Sarah".

We both giggled at the small play on our old factions, but it was still a tender subject to muse about the life we left behind.

"Hey, they're jumping off!" a boy shouted towards us with a worried look on his face.

"Well, we did choose dauntless", I said unsympathetically. I felt a little bit of guilt afterwards from the look of defense on his face. I shouldn't expect him to be so pliable when we all had just changed factions. It's not easy for everyone to adapt within minutes. "Sorry, I didn't meant to sound rude", I added.

"Don't sweat it, I'm a stiff. I don't jump from trains for fun", he said with a little grin. "The name is Jack".

"Sarah", I said while stretching my hand out to him. He looked at it as if it was a new substance, but then nervously grasped my hand. I shook it for him, since I knew Abnegation were not too good with person-on-person contact. I immediately thought of Christopher. I wonder what he was doing right now…

"It's time to jump!" I heard someone yell from the back of the train cart.

"Together?" Vera asked me with a slight look of fear on her face. The giddy smile was still apparent though, and it gave me a little pinch of hope. I nodded.

We grasped hands and within moments we leapt out of the slight safety the train had offered us and into the freedom of the sky. It felt almost wonderful. It was emptiness all around me, engulfing us as we glided through. It only lasted for a matter of seconds. We smacked onto the top of the roof with a loud thud. Pebbles went scrambling everywhere. I felt the rocks scrape against my skin and gritted my teeth. I'm sure everyone knew that little cuts and scrapes would be the least of pain we would have to worry about here. This was the beginning.

I heard a loud screech from behind me and turned to see a dark-skinned girl gripping her face with her hands. She was staring at the ground beneath us. She felt to her knees and instantly began sobbing. A boy appeared to her side and held her. Both of them were in blue. Erudites. Strange of them to be so educated, but not to expect death in the dauntless initiation. I turned away from them.

"Everyone, attention over here", I heard a deep voice yell. I gathered with all the others in the center, pushing them out of the way so my height would not handicap my sight of who was speaking. Vera appeared beside me.

The man standing in front of us was something else. I had never seen someone so… different. He had hair that was shaved on the sides leaving some sort of a Mohawk in the middle. It was slightly slicked down. He had bulky black earrings sticking from his earlobes. Two metal dots were positioned over his eyebrow. Tattoos were boldly pressed onto his neck, appearing in big squares that looked as if they continued down his neck past his shirt. He was amazingly buff. I don't know if it was his tight black shirt that made him appear this muscular or not, but I found myself gazing at his arms.

"My name is Eric. Those of you who made it here have just begun. Below us are the Dauntless headquarters. There is only one way you are going to make it there. That is to jump." He instructed. His cold eyes fell upon each of us. As they landed on me, I saw a sneer appear on his face.

"What's down there?" I heard someone ask. I turned to see a boy in a blue jacket with blue pants. Another Erudite. Their curiosity typical. He had thick black hair that framed his face in a semi-unattractive way. The only notable thing were his blue eyes that I could see shining from the distance I was at from him. He held no expression.

"Guess you'll find out." Eric said with a hint of attitude in his voice. He looked bored. It ticked my nerves that he was standing here without a care for any one of us. "Or not" he added. "Who's going first?"

No one moved. It's as if everyone's feet were glued to the ground. It aggravated me. Why was no one volunteering when jumping off this building was the only way for us to continue? I thought about it. He wouldn't let each of us jump to our deaths. There has to be something down there to keep us from smacking onto the ground.

"I'll go". I stepped forward leaving Vera and the rest of the crowd on their own.

"That's right peace keeper, wouldn't want to cause any conflict would we?" he teased. His voice held its depth, but the light that flickered in his eyes suggested it was a joke. I feel like this man only cared for his own entertainment, and we were the current addition.

I glared at him with an obvious fake smile sliding onto my face. He stared back at me. At this small of a distance I could see his piercing grey eyes. They held me in my spot until he spat out, "Today initiate".

I removed my jacket and threw it to his feet. He raised an eyebrow at me. I stepped onto the ledge of the building and looked down. There was a wide black hole at the bottom. I feel like it would be difficult for someone to miss it, but honestly, I have no doubt that there are plenty of other ways to get killed from doing this.

Without thinking anymore, I jumped.

The weightless feeling returned to me as I passed through the air like a bolt of lightning. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes from the speed I was falling at, but I didn't mind. It was all too glorious to complain.

I felt my body come into contact with a strange material. I hit it instantly and bounced right back off, my body returning into the air. Not even seconds later I fell back into it, only slightly lifting off again.

A net caught me.

A laugh escaped from my body when I was struck with the realization. I couldn't control it. The giggles left me like air leaving a balloon. I felt a strong hand grasp my arm and steady me. It slowly pulled me over and yanked me from my daze. I looked up with wide eyes to see a handsome man with dark brown eyes. They met mine with a serious expression.

"What is your name?" he asked.

Without a moment of hesitation I quickly replied, "Sarah".

"First jumper, Sarah!" he yelled. I heard it echo off the dark walls surrounding us. Groups of cheers could be heard throughout the tunnels. I couldn't see who was cheering from not only being dizzy and because of the lack of light beyond the net. He looked back at me with a small smile. "Well Sarah, welcome to Dauntless."


	4. Chapter 4

"My name is Four", the man who helped me up introduced himself to the group of initiates he stood before. I was standing next to Vera and the boy who said his name was Jack. His scent of strange chemicals and the smell of cold stone and dusty mats the dauntless area gave off made me cringe. It was a strange combo.

"Four, as in the number four?" I heard Vera ask. Four gave her a questioning nod. He stalked up to her with a predatory look on his face, and stopped inches away from her. He looked at least a head taller than she was. "What is your name?" he asked.

"Vera", she said quietly.

"Well, Vera. The first lesson you'll be learning from me is to keep your mouth shut".

She nodded silently and looked back at her feet.

He began again, "I will be your instructor. There are three stages of initiation. One will test your physical ability. The second will test your emotion, and the third deals with mentality. We will be ranking your every move-"

"And at the end of stage one, if you're below the top twenty, you're out." Eric finished.

He once again looked bored. His chin was lifted, giving him a confident, careless look. Even though it hasn't even been an hour and he's messing with all of us, there is no denying how attractive he is.

"Out?" the Erudite who questioned him on the roof asked.

"Yes, Mr. Curious." Eric replied flatly.

"Why didn't we know this?" Vera spat with an upset look on her face.

"Why? Would you have chosen differently if you had known?"

To this, Vera had no answer. Eric slightly nodded his head. "You picked us, now we get to pick you".

_

Four continued to show us where we would be staying. It consisted of a room where both boys and girls would be sleeping. This seemed to surprise a lot more people than I thought it would. Maybe it was because I was from Amity and the whole _boys and girls should be allowed to be together _idea was well-acknowledged there, but really it didn't matter. He also showed us the bathrooms. Toilets, baths, and showers were all openly public. No privacy at all. The thought of showering in front of these people I barely even knew and am competing against made me uncomfortable. A frown slowly slid its way onto my face.

"Not open with exposing that tan body of yours?" the Erudite asked.

"Not necessarily." I replied stalely. "But I'm least excited about seeing your pale skin. Do me a favor and take care of yourself when I'm not around, deal?" with that I walked away.

_

Before it was time to eat we were given a change of clothes and were told to throw our old ones in the flames, literally.

I changed into the black pants. They were skimmed with leather patches on the sides of the leg. I was also given a black shirt and a black jacket with the same leather patches on it. I slid everything on and looked in the mirror. I did not look like the golden girl who was forced to wear a smile that masked how broken she was underneath it. No, I was still golden, but the metallic hint was not from the sun beating down on me. It was the pride I felt on the inside. It was real.

I entered what they had described earlier as the pit with Vera. The other initiates swarmed around us, fitting themselves into seats like little ants. The only seat that was left by the time they were done was next to Four. It didn't seem too inviting but we didn't really have a choice. We sat down next to him, me being the one closest to him, and made ourselves comfortable. Luckily Jack had found his way across from us. He had a hamburger in hand and a bottle of red sauce in the other. Looking at the bottle gave me a flash of memory from home.

Or what was my home.

I picked up a fork and stabbed at the meat that was piled into a round metal bowl in the middle. Jack slid me a plate with two buns on it throwing a quick, "here, take this".

Vera had already began to stuff her face with the food surrounding her. I examined the buns. Hopefully, they tasted nothing like the bread from Amity.

"What, it's bread. Don't you Amity people love that stuff?" The boy sitting next to Jack asked. I remember him hugging the girl who was sobbing on the roof top. Erudite. I later learned that his name was David.

"No, actually. Everyone else loved it there. I thought it tasted funny, so I never ate it" I replied.

"That explains why you transferred. The bread there is drugged with some serum to make you guys feel all _happy_. Guess it didn't fool you, huh?" he sneered.

I gave him a questioning glance, but before I could say anything Jack began talking with his mouth full, "Who cares. All I know is that my old faction didn't have food like this", he said before shoving another bite of hamburger into his mouth.

"Wow, you guys really love talking about food. Such pigs", Vera snorted. She laughed afterwards, giving Jack a playful glance. He smiled, food crumbs still crowding around his mouth.

"Keep your opinions to yourself Candor. Just cause it's the truth, doesn't mean we want to hear it", Jack chuckled out.

"We do not care for your old factions anymore. It does you no good to talk about them." Four interrupted while giving Vera and Jack a menacing stare. "You're Dauntless now".

"Were you a transfer?" I cut in.

He glared at me. "Are you serious?"

"Well, yeah, or were you Dauntless-born?" I asked curiously.

"What makes you think you can talk to me?" he shot out. His stare suddenly made me feel embarrassed and I looked away, not replying to him.

"Aw, already biting at the newbies?" I heard a recognizable voice ask. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was standing behind us.

Suddenly I felt breath against my neck, "It's his time of the month sweetheart, don't let his hormones get ya' down."

I glanced at him from the side. I saw him give me a jokingly, reassuring smile.

Tired of being made fun of, I ignored him and went back to talking with Vera. I felt Four get up and leave, and a small wind of relief flew into my lungs. Sadly, just to be replaced with another hint of annoyance. I felt a larger weight shift onto the seat next to me.

"What are you doing?" I asked Eric looking at him with a serious expression. It was getting annoying how everyone planned on bugging me on my first day here. Is this really what I signed up for?

"What does it look like I'm doing? Eating food", he replied. He looked at me like I had asked him the dumbest question. I sighed with frustration and once again turned back to the people I had been talking to before. I heard Eric laugh slightly at my agitation, but he continued to eat his food silently.

_

The next day we were up bright and early. Four had went into our room and woke us all up, explaining how we only had two minutes to get our asses out of bed and show ourselves at the pit.

I slid my black pajamas off and changed into the black clothing I would be wearing for training. It was a baggy, acid-wash shirt that looked tattered and worn. I was wearing the same leather pants from yesterday with a pair of military boots. Even in these clothes, I remembered the Dauntless woman from my aptitude test. Powerful and feminine. I myself in these clothes, only looked one of the two. Which one it was, I could not decide.

Remembering the aptitude test, I suddenly thought of what she had told me that day.

_You can't let anyone know your test results_

I shuddered and shoved the memory back down, and started towards the pit.

_

I found out that I was not that terrible at shooting, even though I came from a place where people would disown me if they saw me with a gun.

I was definitely not as good with punching, on force that is. It was a lot easier once the snooty Erudite I had learned was named Niall had commented on how pitiful my throws were. He had certainly kept his comments to himself after that.

We now were throwing knives. Each knife sliced through the air like a gust of wind. It hit the target with a loud thud each time I threw it.

"Not too bad at this, huh Amity? Were you throwing knives at the apples back at home?" he teased.

I smiled at him, ignoring the fact that he had mentioned my old faction yet again when I was trying to forget it. It's quite hard to take the phrase "_Faction before blood"_ serious here when everyone was still musing about their old homes.

"That was pathetic", I heard Eric mutter. I looked over to see him standing with his hands behind his back like an observing child, next to David.

"Sorry, it slipped out", he swallowed. I looked towards his target. There were only two knives that had made it not even relatively close to the center. The rest were piled on the ground where they had missed the target and fallen.

"Well, why don't you go get it", Eric retorted coolly.

"While people are still throwing them?" David asked with an unsure look in his eyes. I felt sorry for him. Not everyone had stopped to eavesdrop on their little conversation, and some were still slinging knives at their targets with unmatchable force.

"Why, are you scared?" Eric questioned. The look in his eyes told me that this little quarrel they were having was not leading to anywhere good. Why, just why, was Eric set out to torture everyone? I just wanted to know.

"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife? Yes, I am." He replied with a dumbstruck expression. Poor Erudite. Even a Candor would know that you do not admit to fear during a Dauntless Initiation.

"Everyone stop!" Eric yelled.

The sounds of knives hitting targets was silenced at his shout. He pointed to the wall and I noticed everyone moving towards it. I don't know why they all bowed to his every wish like he was king. I stood there, still confused. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged, and started towards the wall.

David started moving too, but Eric stopped him.

"Not you. I want you to go stand in front of that target". And with that, he pointed towards a target that had no knives on it. David walked over to it, positioning himself in front of it. He was tall enough so that he matched perfectly with the silhouette of the board. Almost none of the target was visible behind his body. "Four, give me a hand here" Eric said, motioning Four towards him.

"He is going to throw these knives at you. If you flinch, you're out." He stated. At his words, the entire room fell silent with a heavy awkwardness settling over all of us. David had the look of a scared puppy on his face. I couldn't let them do this. This was ridiculous.

_Stop them_

Four aligned himself with David's body. He held a knife in hand, a few more in the other. When four had demonstrated how to throw the knives properly, he didn't miss one target. Maybe David would be safe. Maybe.

_Stop. Them._

He'd be alright. Everything is good. I don't have to say anything, no matter how bad I want to.

"Come on Four, we're not getting any younger", Eric teased with his normal seriousness still resting on his face.

Four lifted his hand, knife tightly secured in it.  
_  
Stop them now._

Never mind.

"Stop!" I shouted. Eric looked at me with a startled expression. Four just lowered his knife and turned his head so that he could see me. "Anyone can stand in front of a target. It doesn't prove anything".

"Then I'm sure you wouldn't mind taking his place", Eric said smoothly. He looked irritated, but for once, interested.

"More than happy to". I said while walking towards the target. David scooted away, giving me a thankful look. I ignored him, not wanting to let him think acting like a coward was ok. I lined myself up with the target, my head barely reaching the bottom of it. Eric snorted at the sight.

"Same rules apply", he shouted.

Four looked me in the eye and took a deep breath.

I can do this. I can do this.

A knife shot past me smacking the wall right next to me. I hadn't flinched.

Another knife went above my head, making the tip of my hair feather up from the fast movement...

"I think she needs a trim", Eric commented.

_What?_

Four nodded with a smile and before I could process what was going on another knife shot past me, almost causing me to shutter from the vibrations flowing through my body.

I felt a small sharp pain somewhere in…no, on my ear. I reached up to feel it. Noticing that it was wet, I retreated my hand back to see it covered in blood.  
"Alright, everyone is done here for today. You all are dismissed, so get out", Eric demanded. Four immediately left the room. Eric stood watching everyone leave. I was still standing in front of the target, in shock that he had nipped my ear.

When it was just Eric and I left in the training room, I stalked off. When I walked past him, he shot out and grabbed my arm, yanking me back. I let out a gasp of surprise at his sudden contact.

"Maybe, this will teach you not to act all heroic. I'm not a fan of the show-offs", he said sharply with a smile.

"Oh, is that so? The only think I learned today is that I am not a fan of the ones who prey on the weak in order to make themselves feel stronger", I spat back at him.

"You think I needed him to stand in front of that target to make myself feel strong?" he laughed out while narrowing his eyes at me. "Wow, you totally wouldn't have worked in the Erudite."

"I don't mean your masculinity, you prick. I mean on the inside." I said with a hint of annoyance breaking through my voice. "It doesn't take an Erudite, which you also obviously lack the characteristics of, to know that. You must feel small, and shrewd on the inside. I feel kind of sorry for you".

His signature eyebrow-raise once again took place, "Wow, only at stage one and you already know me so well". His sarcasm was biting.

I snatched my arm out of his hand and walked away from him. As I left the room I heard him call behind me.

"Be careful Amity, you don't know what's on the inside. Not yet". 


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi! I don't know why I don't see all the errors I make until I post the story. It's almost as if they hide when I proofread, then come out once I post it.  
Anyways, very sorry about them.  
Please do your best at ignoring them…  
I hope you all are enjoying my story, and I will try to keep posting as often as I can! I'm on spring break right now, so it might get a little more difficult to post once school returns.  
Aside from that, please keep reading!**

- Sarah  
_

_God. _Why did I think he was so attractive? He's a total ass. Amity reject people like him.

But I am no longer Amity.

I don't think I ever was.

What did he mean when he said I didn't know what's on the inside? It was probably another snide comment just to piss me off. He was good with those.

Vera, Jack, and I were on our way to get tattoos. I was anticipating this for hours. Anything that could help me take my mind off of yesterday's fallout, I openly accepted. We were off today, and were free to roam around the Dauntless shops. Just the word _free_ made me feel better already.

"I want something that lets the others know that I'm fearless", Vera said with a prowl. I looked at her with my eyebrows furrowed.

"You'd have to be pretty fearless to choose Dauntless", Jack commented. He flexed a bicep and wiggled his eyebrows. Vera and I both giggled.

"What about this one?" the tattoo artist proposed while passing Vera a piece of glass with a design on it. It had the Dauntless logo on it, flames engulfing the black circle.

"Hell yeah!" she cheered. The man who gave it to her showed a wide smile at her excitement, then looked at me. "What about you sunshine? You gonna' get inked tonight?"

I felt uneasy with his poor choice of words and walked over to the tattoo samples. None of them really stood out to me, until I walked past a small piece of glass with a sun on it. Instead of beaming rays it had flames leaping from its center. I felt a warm rush of memory from the sight of it. This sun did not represent my old life. It represented who I am today from leaving it behind.

I snatched up the piece of glass and brought it to the creepy man. "This is the one I want". And I pointed to my heart. "I want it here".

_

The next morning we were up for training once again. Nothing new.

I slid on the same black t-shirt we had been wearing for the past few training days. At least it had been washed, so you couldn't smell the sweat and anxiety I had submerged it with. I pushed my hair into one of my hands and smoothed over the top with the other. After I finished getting ready, I headed to the pit.

I was almost used to navigating these dark hallways now. I could hear the sound of other Dauntless members snoring every morning. It gave me a little hint of hope, that if I made it into Dauntless, I could at least sleep in a little longer.

_

"The other day, you learned how to fight. Today, you will be testing your skills on each other."

Vera flashed me a warning look. Jack stood with his arms crossed, but you could see the daze the words has put him in just by looking into his eyes.

Four continued, "We will still be ranking you on how well you do so if I were you, I would try my hardest".

"When do we know to stop fighting?" I heard David ask.

"When one of you can't keep going", I heard someone break in. _Great. _I turned to see Eric walking into the room. Here to be entertained again, maybe. The careless look on his face supported my statement.

"Or when someone concedes", Four added shortly after.

"According to the old rules", Eric plaid, "We're going with the new ones. A brave man doesn't give in".

"But a brave man knows when he is weaker than the other", Four shot with annoyance pricking in his eyes.

"You fight until you can't fight any longer", Eric shouted this time not just to Four but to everyone around him. His eyes fell on me and I saw a corner of his mouth turn up.

I rolled my eyes and looked away. 

Four showed us a screen with names on it. I searched for mine and found

"Sarah vs. Raven"

I grunted. Raven was a tall, pale girl with red hair. It was cut asymmetrically giving her face a pointed look. She had bigger muscles than I did, but I didn't see it as too much of a threat.

When it was finally Vera's turn she pranced up into the center and flicked her ponytail back behind her shoulders. Niall approached from the other side. This probably wouldn't end well. Niall was twice her size.

They both looked at Four and Eric who were standing side by side on the opposite end of the ring. Eric stuck his hand forward "What are you doing? Fight!"

Yes, he was here for entertainment.

Fury lifted from my toes, burning like large flames throughout my body. If only it was him who I could punch.

I heard quick footsteps and Vera turned her head in surprise, but it was too late. Niall shot his fist out and struck her right in the jaw. She fell with a loud grunt. I wanted to look away, to not watch my friend be thrown across the floor, but I could not. I wanted to see her get up, and kick his ass.

Vera stumbled back up giving Niall a deadly glare. She charged forward and tackled him, knocking him to the floor. She sat on top of him and began punching him hard in the face. Niall finally pushed her off of him and kicked her across the ring with his foot. I sighed with frustration. Could this just be over already?

"Quit playing with each other", Eric commented.

Niall picked Vera up from the ground and slammed her back down. My hand flew to my mouth in order to hold my cry back. He began kicking her in her side, making me gasp with for air each time he brought his foot back.

Eric's gaze met mine.

Niall Turned towards Eric once Vera didn't move.

"Get up Vera", Eric demanded.  
"I can't. I give up. Niall won", she cried. I could hear her sputtering and at that moment I was glad I couldn't see the defeated look on her face.

"That's obvious." Eric snorted. "Now get up".

She shook her head.

"Do you need to stop?" he asked her. I could hear the fake concern in his voice.

She nodded and looked up at him. He held his hand up to her and yanked her off the ground.

"Thanks", she muttered.

His eyes fell back on mine and with a smile, he shouted "Alright everyone, let's take a break".

We followed him down the hallway towards what we had learned was the chasm. Its rushing waters roared through the stone walls with a loud echo.

"Feeling a little better?" Eric asked Vera. They were walking side by side with his arm around her shoulder. I felt a small prick in my stomach at the sight. I could feel a scowl itching onto my face, but pushed it away. What was bugging me so much?

"Yes, thank you", she looked up at him with a smile. They were just approaching the metal bridge that strung out from over the chasm when I heard a loud scream. I stood on my tip-toes to try to peer over everyone's head but it still didn't work.

I pushed through everyone and let a cry escape when I finally saw what had happened. Eric was kneeling on the bridge, his eyes lowered towards the water. Vera was clinging onto the edge of the bridge, one hand clasped onto the side and another being held in Eric's.

"What the hell?" I yelled out. Eric turned to look at me and I saw the predatory look in his eyes. I stepped back a little, surprised from his sudden mood.

He let go of her other hand, letting her drop it immediately next to her other.

"You have three options", he began. "You will hang there until I forget your cowardice, fall and die, or give up. The choice is yours".

She let out a yelp of frustration once the water began coating her hands. The waves escaladed around her, soaking her body in its cold path. Eric stared down at her with absolutely no pity in his eyes.

Jack held my shoulder, staring at the scene in front of him as if it were a nightmare. I could understand his fear. This was no act of Bravery. This was cruel. I held my stare on Eric with a grimace smeared onto my face. When Vera let out another cry I couldn't hold back.

"You can do it Vera!" I yelled. Eric tilted his head back with annoyance and ignored me. I looked back down at Vera who was struggling now to keep her grip.  
_  
Please, please, please don't fall. _I pleaded. This is not how her life will end. He wouldn't get that satisfaction.

Suddenly when her fingers began slipping from the edge, Eric yelled out "Time!" Jack immediately rushed to her side and seconds later I followed after him. We helped Vera to her feet, her wet clothes spreading their chill into mine. I looked up at Eric who stood next to us silently.  
When he caught me looking at him, he yelled out while meeting my gaze, "Dauntless never give up". Then he left. My eyes followed him as stalked down the hallway.

I guess I wouldn't be fighting today.  
_

**Eric POV**

I slung some chocolate cake onto my plate. Damn, was I hungry. I sat with Max, Four, and Lauren. They were trying to tell the story of when Four had freaked out on the zip line, but I couldn't focus on what they were saying. My eyes kept wandering over to where some of the initiates were sitting. Vera, Jack, David, and Sarah were all huddled at one table, bursting with laughter every five seconds.

"For the last God damn time Eric what are you looking at?" Max yelled. He turned his head toward the direction I had been staring in and he looked back at me with a smile.

"Ah, the young Amity girl", he laughed. I turned my gaze down, ignoring his accusations. "She is a pretty one, isn't she?"

Four turned to see where the conversation had taken off then added "Pretty, yes. But also pretty annoying", he added.

Max laughed and shot back, "I'd still hit her though." Four and him both chuckled immaturely at Max's little joke.

"Both of you morons are out of her league". I said flatly. Realizing how serious I sounded I immediately spat out, "She's not even worth hitting".

"Really Eric? Is that why you stare at her like she's a pot of gold?" Max teased. I laughed at his simile. It was almost true. Her golden hair reflected the light that shone on her perfectly, giving her a majestic glow. I wouldn't lie. I thought she was beautiful. It was difficult to not mess with her at every chance I got, but I did try.

"Right, of course I do. It's not like you apes don't check her out either", I joked back, regretting it right after it came out. Both Four and Max raised their eyebrows at what I had said and turned to stare at her.

"You're right", Four replied. "She's got an Amity figure on her". He had a sly smirk on his face that I wanted to smack off as hard as I possibly could.

Max chuckled, choking slightly on a piece of chocolate cake he had been swallowing.

_Idiots. _I thought to myself. Just in the moment when we were all looking in her direction, Sarah tilted her head up and caught us. She gave me a grossed out look and whispered into Vera's ear. Vera slammed her fist onto the table and exploded into laughter. Jack leaned forward to hear what they had said and Vera passed the secret on to him. Jack's shoulders shook violently as he began laughing along with them. Sarah's eyes crept back onto mine and she gave me a slight shrug with a mocking smile. My stomach churned.

"What the hell are they laughing at", Max grunted after he noticed they were making fun of us.

"Who even cares", Four stated with an annoyed look. It was obvious they both felt uncomfortable with the initiates joking about them. 

I looked back over to her and let my eyes wander all over her appearance. I remembered how angry she looked with me earlier when I had pushed Vera off of the railing. Had I messed things up already?

_Oops. _

**_**

Hope you guys liked this chapter and continue to read as I post more!  
Thank you (:  
- Sarah


	6. Chapter 6

It was my turn to fight today. Me against Raven.

I guess you could say I'm a little nervous, because I am. Not nervous of getting my ass whooped, since I'm not going to let that happen, but because everyone would be watching. Even Eric.

We gathered in the training room. Everyone looked a little uneasy still from yesterday's end to training. Eric stood in the center of the ring, glaring at everyone surrounding him. He looked tired as if he had little time to sleep. His grey eyes had shadows beneath them, and he yawned every few minutes. Still, he looked handsome.

"Alright, time to fight again", he began. "Sarah and Niall, get up here."

_What?!_ I stood there dumbfounded. I thought I was going against Raven! Everyone's eyes began to fall on me as they noticed I hadn't moved.

"Sarah, up here. Now." Eric commanded. I slowly edged towards the ring.

"Good luck", I heard Vera whisper in my ear. I felt a pat on my shoulder from the direction Jack been standing in. I smiled and walked towards the ring. I saw Four enter from the hallway that led to the chasm. Now everyone was here.

I stepped into the ring, feeling everyone's eyes settle on me. Niall looked casual as if this was just another obstacle he had to get through. Now that I think about it, it is. I can just get the fight over with and stop sweating it.

"Seriously? Don't just stand there. Do something!" Eric shouted. I looked at him with disgust. He smiled at me then nodded back to the ring. I looked at Niall, who was now stepping towards me. He swung at me, but I ducked away before he could hit me.

I didn't know what to do. How do I fight him? Do I just punch him? 

Without thinking I swung my fist at him. It went straight to his eye, making him yell out in pain. _Did I just do that?_ I swung again, hitting his jaw. This throw had been more aimed and powerful. He stumbled backwards, and I took another opportunity to punch him again. He fell to the ground, grabbing his jaw. Not knowing what to do now I just stood there.

"Is that it Sarah? You just gonna' give up?" Eric yelled. I looked at him surprised. He acted as if I was some professional fighter who was limiting their strengths. Niall had recovered from his hit now, and reach for my leg. He pulled me down and I shrieked. He rolled on top of me, and pinned my wrists down.

"Wow, look at the position we're in Amity. Wanna' try hitting me again?" He yelled and then spit on my face. I cringed. It felt warm and gooey on my chin and I almost gagged. I yanked a wrist out from his hand and smacked him hard. I could already see a red handprint forming on his cheek. He looked at me with burning eyes and punched me straight in the face.

I saw black patches on the edges of my vision for a second, making me dizzy. He hit me again, this time I could feel my lip bust open. It stung, and I groaned. I looked at him. He seemed to be satisfied with my pain. He leaned forward, pressing his waist firmly against mine.

"Maybe if you moan for me, I'll go easy on you", he whispered. I tried pulling my wrists out again but I couldn't. "I'm not done with you", I felt like puking. Did anyone see what he was doing? Was anyone going to stop him?!

"Get OFF of me!" I screamed and pushed his chest as hard as I could. He didn't expect me to have much strength I assumed and he reeled backwards. Once again, he was on the floor. I stood up, now knowing what to do, and kicked him in the side. He yelled out in pain, and I kicked him again. One to the ribs, to the stomach, to the waist. I couldn't stop.

"Doesn't feel good, does it?" I screamed down at him. He had blood spilling out of his nose where I had punched him and his teeth were gritted as he groaned in pain.  
"Enough Sarah!" I heard Eric yell. I turned behind me, staring at him shock. "You're done fighting now".

I stepped off the ring, returning to Vera and Jack. They had urgent stares, making me uncomfortable.

"What?" I muttered.

"Nothing…just, what was that?" Vera whispered. Jack stood next to her silently. At first I thought they were talking about my burst of anger, but then I saw them staring past me, near the ring. I turned around to see Four whispering to Niall in the corner. I guess people _had _noticed how inappropriate Niall had been.

When they were finished, Four led us to another board with our names on it. The rankings.

"These are your stage one rankings. Anyone below the red line, is cut". I heard whispers of both triumph and disbelief. I didn't dare to look below the red line. I didn't have to, anyways. My name was number Four on the chart. Below my name was Niall. Beneath him, Vera was number six. Two more down Jack's name was in white. My heart skipped a few when I saw that David was the last name before the red line. We were all safe.

"How is Amity above me?" I heard Niall yell.

"Because she didn't act like a thirteen-year-old boy with raging hormones out in that ring", Eric spat. I looked at him. His eyes held a silent anger I wanted to question, but didn't.

_

"Ok everyone, the game we're going to be playing is called catch the flag. Eric and I will be team leaders", Four instructed. He continued on how the guns stimulate the pain of a real gunshot wound, but it only lasted for a few minutes. "Eric, why don't you go first with picking?"

"No, I insist you do. Ladies first, Four", Eric teased back.

"Ok then. Amity, get your ass over here. You're on my team". Four yelled out to me. I looked up. _Picked first?_ I felt a little giddy with excitement.

Eric coughed loudly, then stated "Ok then Four. Niall, come on". Niall walked over towards Eric. They both glared at me. I turned away, uncomfortable with their heavy eyes burning holes on my skin.

After they both had chosen all of their members, it was time to jump off. Since Four had picked first, Eric would be jumping first. After a few seconds, our team jumped off after them.

We came up with a strategy where some of our team would come from one side and the rest of us would come from the other. Only one of the halves would attack, and the other would stay silent, waiting for Eric's team to lunge.

We approached one side, finding where their team was located from the glow of their Flag. Vera, who was also put on my team, had climbed up the Ferris wheel to get a good vantage point. I was jealous that I hadn't thought about it myself, but I was still glad we had ended up finding their hideout.

I heard gunshots go off from the side we had decided would attack. Four, a few Dauntless-born, David, and I were the ones who stayed quiet. With the signal of a flare being thrown towards us, we charged forward.

"Go, Sarah!" I head Four yell and at his signal I ran towards the glow I saw in the tower a few feet away from me. I busted the door open, flying up the stairs within seconds. As soon as I pushed the top open, I saw the flag perched up on the wall. It waved through the wind that breezed from the openings, radiating its light and victory.

I climbed up from the stairs and reached for it, almost grabbing it if it weren't for it being yanked away.

"Not so fast, pretty girl", I saw Eric emerge from the dark, the glow of the flag emitting a green tint onto his skin. Even in this moment, I still blushed from his little comment. _God, I'm such a dork._

"Oh, really? What are you going to do to stop me?" I pushed.

He held his gun out, pointing it right at my stomach, "Maybe something with this gun I have here", he said, with a wide grin. Would he shoot me? Of course he would. Why the hell wouldn't he?

"Ok, go ahead then", I said standing in front of him.

He aimed his gun, the smile still sticking to his face. He stood there, holding it. What was he doing? Why hadn't he shot me yet?

Suddenly I heard him cry out in pain, and he fell to the ground. I stood, wide-eyed watching him. Then I saw four crawl out from the opening and yell, "Grab the flag dammit!"

I walked over to Eric, who was now sprawled out on the floor holding his side, and bent down to get closer to him. "Guess you should really act faster next time, slow poke" and snatched the flag from his hand. He glared at me, the smile wiped clear off of his face. I ran to the window, and held the flag out so everyone could see it.

I heard all the Dauntless members from my team cheering below. With just enough moonlight shining on them, I saw their fists pumping in the air and their pierced, tattooed faces grinning.

I learned something new today

I liked winning. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to all of you who have reviewed my story. I'm extremely thankful for all of the nice things you've said, and you make it so much easier to keep writing. In this chapter, Sarah and Eric will be getting closer. And to the one who asked, Yes, Four and Max are friendlier with each other in this story. Also, I am sorry if anyone is getting the impression that Sarah is a replacement for Tris. She is not. I am taking some of the events from the story, but I am also adding more of my own. This is only chapter 7, keep in mind; but please continue reading to find out more. Once again, thank you guys (:  
-Sarah**

_

I was definitely tired now. I fought my ass off twice today, and won both times. I was proud of myself. I feel like I'm actually starting to fit in. When I look in the mirror now, I don't see a weak, childish girl who wore a smiling mask over her face. I see a girl who is proud of who she is. A girl who could never fit into an Amity lifestyle with the glowing smile, but instead the smile of a truly happy being. A real person who didn't just sit around in the sun. I felt like I was more myself than I had ever been in my sixteen years of living. I felt Dauntless.

_They call it Divergent_

I stared wide-eyed into the mirror. The day of my aptitude test haunted me like a shadow. It followed me everywhere. A secret that I couldn't even tell my family, creeping into my mind like a virus.

My family.

Even more pain filled my heart thinking about my mother on her own. Why did Christopher leave? Was he really happier in Abnegation than he appeared to be in Amity? I don't even feel like I know who he is anymore.

I don't.

Tears welled into my eyes, and I had to bite my lip so that they wouldn't come rolling down my face. Not here, I was not going to cry here.

I changed into my pajamas, laying down in the warm bed I had chosen for myself the first night. Vera was already asleep next to me. The lights were off but my head was blasting with electric thoughts. My whole body felt charged. How could my brother just leave my mom like that? I shook my head. I cannot judge him. I was just as wrong as he was. I too, had left my mom behind.

Too tired to fight with myself again tonight, I rolled over, pressing my face into the pillow. Soon I found sleep.

_

I felt cold hands clasp over my mouth as my eyes flew open. I could not see from how dark it was in the room, but I knew I was not the only one awake. I was yanked out from my bed, and before I could even scream someone shoved a piece of fabric in my mouth. I felt them tie my legs and arms, and no matter how hard I tried to thrust them out, they were bound too tightly. I began flailing, pushing out with whatever force I could. I screamed into the fabric, but no one listened. They lifted me up and carried me. There must have been more than one person. I felt one grabbing me by my feet and another by my shoulders. I couldn't move from them. I was panicking. Where were they taking me? What were they going to do to me?

When we entered the hallway I noticed the back of the person carrying my feet's head was thick and rustled. I recognized him right away. One of my attackers was Niall. Who was the other? I tried twisting my head to see but I couldn't.

"The chasm is this way, I think", I heard Niall tell the other person.

_The chasm? Why were they taking me there?_

"I'm pretty sure you're right", the other person said. It was a female's voice. Raven.

I tried screaming again, but nothing happened. They didn't even look at me.

Soon I heard the roar of pulsing waters cascading around me.

"So do we just push her off, or..?" I heard Raven ask.

I screamed as loud as I could. This time, Niall looked at me. I glared at him with every ounce of hatred I had in my body, which was a lot for someone who came from Amity.

"Not yet. Go keep watch Raven. I'm going to have some fun with her first." He smiled at me in a way that could make me vomit from staring at it for too long. Raven rolled her eyes and shook her head and stalked off towards where we had come from. Niall approached me, and pushed me hard against the railing. He ripped the fabric out of my mouth, but before he could do anything I spit right on his face. He slapped me, making my mouth ache instantly. He waved what I now knew was a shirt that had been in my mouth in front of me, "Thought I would like to hear you moan. Don't be a bad girl or it's going back in", he said while pointing his finger in my face.

This cannot be happening.

He pressed against me. He was so close I could feel his heart against mine. I wish the beating I felt would just stop, and he would die. I want to kill him right now, with my bare hands. I want to punch him endlessly, until his face is unrecognizable.

He pushed his lips against mine. It was forced and unromantic. Nothing about what was happening right now was ok. I couldn't hold the tears back. They slid out of my eyes like silent pleads for help. They were hot against my irritated skin. Niall continued kissing me, pushing his tongue in my mouth. As soon as I felt it I bit down as hard as I could, tasting his blood. He gasped into my mouth, and yanked his face back. There was blood dripping past his lips. I felt a pinch of satisfaction.

"God, you bitch", he spat at me. He pushed against me again, this time his hand gripping around my neck. He slid his other hand down my pajama pants and past my underwear. Nothing could be worse than this. I tried bending my body as far away from him as I could but the metal bars behind me refused to let me through. I would rather fall to my death than be raped by this boy.

"Help!" I screamed, "Someone please help me!"

"Shut up!" Niall hissed. He stared at me with his jaw pushed out. "Oh, haha, wait! You're a virgin, aren't you Amity?" he let out a hysterical laugh, tipping his head back with it. "Well then, I guess that's going to change. He fumbled with his belt, unbuckling it. He began sliding his pants down and in that moment, I thought I would do what my mother used to instruct me when I was in a moment of trouble. I was going to pray.

Before anything more could happen I saw a figure appear from the other end of the chasm. I saw Eric. He approached Niall with admirable speed and punched him so hard in the face, I honestly didn't know whether or not Niall would have one after that. He leaned down to him and whispered something violently into his ear, but it was too low for me to hear it. He hovered above him, punching him sadistically until his face was covered in blood.

He reached for me and pulled me towards him. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, my hands and legs still tied, and carried me off through the way he came out. I suspected Raven ran when she heard Niall crying out in pain. Wouldn't surprise me.

It was all dark again until we entered a room I can only assume was Eric's. It had black walls and a brown carpet. He walked in and set me down on his black bed sheets. I looked at him, scared that another episode of what happened a few minutes ago was going to take place again. I could not fight Eric off.

"Are you ok?" he asked. For once he looked genuinely concerned. His eyebrows were lowered in a peaceful, acknowledging type of way. The tension in my muscles began to ebb away when I finally deciphered that he wasn't planning to attack me. I stared into his eyes, almost becoming lost in their depths until he questioned me again. "Sarah, please. Are you ok?"

"I…I'm still alive", I said with a shaky voice. I felt like at any moment I will break. I didn't want to break in front of him.

"Yes, well, we better celebrate that". He pulled out a glass and walked towards another room to the left of us. I heard a sink running and he walked back in, this time with the glass full. "Drink up".

I took the cup from and him and chugged the water down. It soothed my throat that was scratchy and sore from screaming. I looked back up at him when I was finished, and passed him the cup. "Thanks"

He nodded. He pulled out a knife and at first I jerked away, pulling my arms and legs towards me. Then he gave me a weird look, raising his eyebrow again and I realized what he was trying to do. I pushed my arms and legs out to him, allowing him to slice the rope they had tied around them off. Then he continued, "I'm not going to ask about what happened. If you don't want to talk about it, I completely understand. But, we _do _need to talk about what is going to be done about it."

I shook my head. "Can it wait until tomorrow?" I begged. I was way too tired to discuss anything other than sleep right now.

"It can. Get some rest." He directed while pointing his finger towards it. I looked up at him with a worried face. He wasn't going to be…?

He sighed. "No, I'm not going to be sleeping next to you. Don't worry. I'm not concerned with busting any moves on you right now." I nodded and leaned back, pulling the covers over my body. He cut the light off, but I could still see him faintly from the light filtering in through a window. He pulled out a chair, dragging it out next to the bed. He sat down in it and kicked his feet up at the end of the bed. He crossed his arms over his chest, and stared at me.

"Eric?" I asked before I was too sleepy to get the words out.

"Mhmm"

"Thank you" I choked out. I was almost embarrassed for letting my voice crack, but right now I just forgot about it.

He was silent afterwards. He just continued staring at me. Finally he opened his mouth to say something. Whether words came out, I do not know. Sleep carried me off before I could find out. The last thing I saw before I knocked out were his silver eyes watching me as I drifted off.

My prayer had been answered. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Note to anyone who is reading: if there are any errors with names, please let me know and I will gladly fix them! Hopefully everything is fine now, and with that, here is a new chapter (:  
- Sarah**

_

I woke up with the lights on, the aroma of sizzling meat dragging me out of bed. Someone was cooking some good food. My head was pounding and my throat felt swollen. Seeing a mirror on the other end of the room, I got up and walked towards it.

What I saw looking back at me was someone tired and lifeless. I looked bitten and worn out. My blonde hair was tangled and parted in an awkward angle, making my face look rounder. My cheeks were bright pink and below my eyes were small dark circles, letting my weariness show through.

"What are you doing? Why are you out of bed?" I turned to see Eric holding two plates and a glass of water. His hair was tousled on the top of his head, and his voice sounded husky. He was shirtless.

"Uh... Um", I stuttered "I was just seeing what I looked like". Realizing he was looking at the hot mess I saw in the mirror, I turned away from him, avoiding his gaze and the mirror's scrutiny.

"Well you shouldn't be up", he said quietly. "But since you are, ya' hungry?"

I looked back up at him, accidentally scanning his upper body as I did so. He was so built. His abs stood out in a defined and masculine manner. I drank up the sight as much as I could, enjoying every bit of it. His eyes followed mine, and I immediately felt embarrassed. I looked away from him again, nodding.

"Is there something wrong with me? Do I have something on my face?" he asked, looking himself up and down.

"W-what? No, why?" I questioned, sounding confused.

"You can't even look at me for more than five seconds", he stated.

Jeez, he noticed everything. "I don't like to be seen this way." I replied scooting back to the bed. I pulled the covers back up neatly then sat down on them again.

"What way?" he asked calmly.

I placed my hands over my face, leaving spaces between my fingers so I could see. "I look beaten up".

He walked over, setting the plates and water down on the nightstand next to the bed. He grabbed one of my hands, gently pulling it away from my face. "So tell me how you manage to still look just as beautiful", he said. I avoided his gaze, my face getting hot. He seemed unchanged by his comment and just handed me a plate.

"You like Bacon?" he asked.

I looked at the plate to see small strips of cooked meat laid out neatly. "Uh, well I've never had it before".

He shook his head with a forced frown, "You haven't lived, Amity".

I shot him a glare and nudged his shoulder. I reached over and snatched a piece of what I now know is bacon and took a quick bite of it. It crunched in my mouth and filled my taste buds with meaty goodness. I gave him a quick wink. "mmm, I have now!".

He gave me a change of clothes, since I didn't want to wear anything that reminded me of how violated I was last night. He gave me a long-sleeved shirt of his and some sweatpants that matched the ones he was currently wearing. Of course, everything was oversized. I had to roll the sleeves and the pant-legs up at least three times. I walked back in from the bathroom, and he exploded into laughter.

"What?!" I demanded with an angry look.

"Nothing, you just look like a little chimney sweeper".

_A what? _I shook my head at him, grabbing another piece of bacon from a plate next to me.

"Ok, now what about last night. What do you think we should do?" I stopped chewing, thinking hard on what he was asking. I wanted to say how I wanted Niall's ass killed. In fact, I wanted to be the one to kill him. Instead of saying anything I just looked up at him, staring into his eyes. They seemed to read mine like little computers. He nodded his head, turning his lips down in a little frown.

"Well then, I think we've come to an agreement".

I shuddered. He knew what I wanted.

We stayed there in silence for a few minutes, then the thought struck me, "Oh god", I said slapping my hand to my forehead. It actually hurt a lot worse than I intended, being that I have a massive headache. "I forgot about initiation!"

"Chill, Sarah. You're off today, remember?" he said while pointing to his forehead. "Stage two begins tomorrow"

I sighed in relief, sinking back into the bed. "I just want to sleep some more, honestly".

"Well, the bed's not going anywhere. Live it up. Go nap some more", he said while standing up. He walked past me, grabbing a shirt and giving my shoulder a good pat. "On the other hand, I have to go take care of…uh… something". He opened the door and turned back to me, seeing my confused face. "Don't worry about it", he said with a serious tone, and shut the door behind him.

_

Once I had woken up, I made his bed and wrote a small note thanking him for sheltering me that night. Then I left.

I didn't see him at all later that day, making me suspicious. Did this have something to with what he said earlier, about taking care of something?

The next morning we were up bright and early, ready for stage two. This was supposed to test your emotions, which I didn't always express easily. This should be interesting.

Four began calling names as soon as we sat down. Some of them walked out unchanged, and then others needed to be escorted. Their legs were wobbling and their attention seemed far-off. I noticed that Niall was not in the room with us. Hopefully, he had been thrown out with the factionless. That was where he belonged, aside from six feet under the ground. Raven glanced at me occasionally, casting me uneasy stares. When Vera walked out, her lips were quivering and tears stained her cheeks. It made me nervous to see her like this.

"Sarah Nicholas! Your turn", Four called out. I stood up, my body feeling heavy. When I entered the room, I saw a chair similar to the one from my aptitude test. Eric was sitting in another smaller chair with wheels at the bottom, typing something into the computer. "Eric will be recording your results today instead of me, since I have to go stable some of the other initiates. He'll tell you what to do". He nodded at me, then walked out.

Eric turned towards me, and with a sarcastic smile said "Well isn't this just special".

I didn't return the smile. I sat down in the seat pulling my legs up after me. Eric stood up with a syringe in hand, and stepped away from the computer. The liquid in the syringe was a strange color; it made me even more uncomfortable.

He reached forward and brushed hair away from my neck. I could feel my body stiffen at his touch. He didn't seem to notice, and stuck the needle in.

"Now this whil set in pretty soon, so listen. You're going to be facing one of your worst fears today. It's only a simulation though, so don't worry. I will be able to see what you are seeing during the simulation, so I will know how you react and what you're reacting to. What you need to do in order to stop the simulation is to lower your heart rate, and calm down. It will not stop until you show it you are not scared. Is that understood?"

I looked at him. His face was already becoming blurry. I nodded slowly. He chuckled at me, turning back around and sitting down at the computer once again.

I closed my eyes.

When I opened them, I saw my mother. She was sitting at my bed, smoothing the sheets over with her hand. She was dressed in the bright colors of Amity, but she still appeared dull. The sight of her made my throat tighten, and my eyes went dry. I tried to walk towards her, but my feet wouldn't move. I was stuck. She looked at me, her eyes clouded and her expression weary.

"Why did you leave me behind, Sarah?" she cried out. She began sobbing, her body shaking violently.

"Mom, I'm sorry!" I yelled. I saw her pull a knife out from under her. She examined it carefully, studying her reflection in its slender blade. "I loved you, and you left me alone. Just like Christopher and your dad did, you abandoned me." She lifted the blade to her neck.

No, I couldn't watch this. I would not stand here to see her do this. This is torture. It is wrong. I would rather die than watch her take her own life because of me. Suddenly, I felt a small weight in my hand. I looked down to see that I was holding a knife of my own. _Wow, this simulation has a bitter-sweet sense of humor. _Then I remembered, it is just a simulation. This was not real. I brought the knife to my own throat, meeting my mother's troubled gaze with tears blistering my cheeks, and brought it across my neck. I expected to feel searing pain, edging towards death as I bled out. But I opened my eyes to see Eric standing above me, a confused look on his face.

I felt my cheeks. I guess I had been crying on the outside as well; they were wet. My throat still felt tight. I pictured my mom's face again. The Amity smile had been replaced by a gloomy frown. I looked up at him angrily.

"Why did you do that to me?" I yelled. "Why would you make me watch my own mother kill herself?" I began sobbing again, trying to suck the tears back. They tore our relentlessly; I could not control them.

"It was a simulation provided by your own brain Sarah, I didn't do any of that". His expression was still calm. It made me even madder that he stood there doing nothing, looking at me as if everything was normal. "And it won't be the last one"

I clenched my jaw at his words, sinking back into the chair. "What do you mean _it won't be the last one_, Eric?" I groaned. Were they just planning to torture us?

"You need to learn to face your fears. Practicing this way will help you, Sarah", he responded mockingly with a groan of his own.

I exhaled loudly, letting all of the air leave my body. I closed my eyes and lay there, wishing I could disappear into another simulation. One where I was alone in my thoughts.

"How long do you think you were in there?" he asked.

"I don't know…half an hour maybe?" I responded with my eyes still closed.

"Four minutes, Sarah. You were out of there over two times faster than the average." His voice was strong and cool as it entered my brain. I swung my eyes back open, staring at the ceiling.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means you're already pretty good at this. Do me a favor, and just don't worry about it. You're going to get through this just fine". He soothed. His attempts to relax me helped the tension I felt everywhere in my body ebb away.

I stood up to leave, wiping off the sweat my hands had gathered. I looked him in his eyes before walking out.

"Sarah"

I turned around one last time to see him looking at me with a layer of seriousness on top of something else I couldn't quite determine.

"I would never do anything to hurt you. Do you understand me?"

I nodded, but was it out of instinct, or was it the truth? I don't think anyone really had to try to hurt me in order to get their desired reaction. The simulation did a good job proving it.

Thinking hard on it, did that mean I blamed myself for leaving my mom behind with the Amity? The thought struck me harder than any punch I've ever felt. It swarmed inside me with more power than any object could ever enforce.

_It was a simulation provided by your own brain._

This is what lurked in the shadows of my mind, in the depths of my greatest fears?__

Eric's words bounced off the walls of my mind, echoing loudly. I don't think I could ever answer these questions, without a million others ricocheting from the answers. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi! In this chapter, you'll see something finally happens between Sarah and Eric. Hope you all enjoy!  
Please keep reviewing (:  
-Sarah  
_**

Exhausted from the emotional collapse I had earlier today, I was thankful that it was now time to sleep. I headed back to where we normally slept, but the memory of hands slapping over my mouth restricted me from moving another step.

I couldn't sleep there again, not yet.

I hadn't seen Niall all day, thankfully. It felt like some sort of a reward to have him gone, wherever he was. I quickly walked into the room and gathered my pajamas. Then I left. I went into a bathroom and changed into them, folding the ones I had been wearing previously.

I don't know where I was headed, but I just kept walking. I found myself wandering closely to the chasm. Just ahead of me I saw the stone walls that surrounded it, glistening with water. I walked onto the narrow bridge, admiring the bursting waves below me. I leaned against the railing, pushing away the memories of Niall pressing me against it. This didn't feel like a place for bad memories to hide. It was a calm, echoing cave. I felt at peace here. I sat down, pulling my legs in towards me.

I was there for a while, accompanied by my thoughts before I heard footsteps clanking on the metal behind me.

"Can I ask what you're doing here again?" Eric asked with a bored expression.

"I just came here to think. I couldn't sleep in that room again tonight. I thought I would be able to control myself, but I can't." I confessed. I don't know why I felt like I could trust him, but I did.

"Well, that only leaves one option. Come on", he said while pulling me up from the ground. I quickly grabbed the folded clothes and followed behind him. He led me back to his room once again. When we walked in I noticed his bed was unmade. If he had been asleep, why had he wandered down to the chasm?

"The bed is all yours", He said sitting down at the end of it. I sat down next to him.

"You know, I can just sleep on the floor. You don't have to keep forcing yourself into giving up your bed for me", I said staring at him.

"I'm not forcing myself to do anything", Eric said with a frown. "Back there, at the chasm…" he began. I nodded, pushing him on. "You said you were thinking. What were you thinking about?"

I shrugged. "How different I felt. I kept trying to figure out what had changed about me, but I couldn't. Then I realized, I hadn't changed. I'm just free now". He continued looking at me, as if processing what I had said.

Not being able to hold the question back, I asked, "How did you find me that night? You know…with Niall."

He turned to look at the wall, his face not changing as he answered, "I had been in the training room, just blowing off some steam. Then I heard you screaming". His voice trailed off into a dark, low growl as he continued. "When I saw him pressing against you like that… and you were crying… I just", he paused, anger fueling in his eyes. "You won't be having to worry about him anymore."

He looked back down at me. I stared at him with wild eyes.

"Did you…?"

He nodded. I look away again, staring down at my legs. I don't know if I felt relieved with him carrying that burden, or if I was just given another burden of my own to carry. Steadying my voice, I coughed out, "Thank you."

When I looked back up, he was still watching me. My eyes met his, and I decided to continue the stare. His eyes were pulling me in, like silver tides. I felt like something was supposed to happen right now, I just didn't know what. I saw his eyes lower, and realized what he was looking at. My lips.

_Oh._

I noticed that I was leaning forward, and so was he. But I couldn't feel anything but the buzzing of my body. I could feel my heart slamming against my chest, preparing to burst. I felt his breath on my face, and I closed my eyes.

I felt his lips softly touch mine. A charge sparked through my entire body, lighting me up from head to toe. I pressed mine to his more firmly, making him sigh. Something about this moment I wanted to keep forever. I wanted to fold it up and engrave it into every crevice of my body, and never forget it. I wanted it to be part of me.

He broke away for a second, only to kiss me again. This time, I was prepared. By instinct, I kissed him back. His lips were smooth and gentle against mine. I felt his hand slowly place itself onto my waist. I brought mine to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me. Our lips were moving as one, dancing together in perfect harmony.

After a few minutes, he broke away again. This time without returning. His eyes were lowered and he kept his gaze away from me. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."

I look at him. I could feel my confusion sketched onto my face. "What are you sorry for?"

He shook his head. "I shouldn't have done that after what you just went through". I realized what he had meant, and a shudder escaped down my back. I remembered Niall's rough lips like sandpaper as they scraped against mine. I had never been kissed until then.  
My heart that had been pounding with excitement before now ached. Eric was nothing like him though. Despite how he treated people sometimes, he was gentle. What had just happened had not been forced.

"I'm glad you did." I said finally.

A couple minutes of silence followed afterwards.

"Well uh, it's pretty late. You might want to get some rest for tomorrow." His voice brought a small, giddy feeling in my stomach. I had to force myself not to allow the childish smile I felt pinching my cheeks onto my face. He sounded nervous.

"That would make sense", I said with a jokingly smart attitude.

He stayed looked away from me, shaking his head. He stood up and pulled out the same chair from the other night and sat down in it, kicking his feet up again.

I pushed myself to the side of the bed against the wall, leaving a large space next to me. I forced enough to courage inside of me so that the words I was about to say would actually come out. "You know, you don't have to sleep in that pitiful chair. You look extremely uncomfortable." He looked up at me, his eyes widening just a little.

"After all, it is _your _bed", I said staring back at him. I patted the space next to me a couple of times, as if persuading him to take my offer. He stared at it, then slowly stood up. He looked so tired. I felt kind of bad for probing him with so many thoughts. He grabbed his shirt and lifted it about his head, removing it.

_Oh. _I told myself once again, trying hard to retain myself from marveling at his body. He got into the bed, tugging lightly on the covers. I saw that he was distancing himself from me as best as he could. He lay stiffly on his back staring away from me as I was propped up on my side, facing him. I smiled and fell onto my back so that I was staring at the ceiling. I heard his breathing steady, and I let mine do the same. Sleep gnawed at my insides. I finally allowed myself to doze off, the smile staying on my face.

**_  
**

**Sorry for such a short chapter, but I felt like that was a good place to end this one. Tell me if you liked it! Thanks for reading!  
-Sarah**_  
_


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey Everyone! Thank you so much for all of the great reviews. They really help me. Anyways, here's another chapter!  
Thanks for reading**

-Sarah

_

**Eric's POV**

I woke up still in the dark. I heard Sarah's quiet breathing next to me. Her arm was flopped out, laying across my chest. Suddenly a huge whirl of memory from last night kicked in, knocking the air out of me. I had kissed her. God, I was such a dimwit for doing that. She was almost raped not even two days ago and here I was forcing my feelings on her.

I honestly couldn't help myself though. I remembered the image of her sitting next to me. Her hair had been swept to one side, with a few stray pieces left on the other. Her green eyes were wide with thought, egging me on with question after question. The more she stared at me, the more I wanted to yank her into my arms.

Every time she was around me, I felt nervous. Something about her had me on end; she was terrifying.

I turned to look at her. She was a wild sleeper. Both arms were sprawled out and her legs were curled close to her stomach. Her face held no expression, letting her natural beauty take rest upon it. Sleeping next to her last night was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Every inch of me instinctively wanted to reach out and pull her close to me, but I had to restrain myself from doing so.

I got up, making sure the covers still stayed on her and walked towards the bathroom. I took care of business then studied myself in the mirror. I looked _really_ good.

_I should wake her up so she can see me like this. _

What the hell am I thinking? Sometimes I surprised my own self with how narcissistic I am. But hey, I can't always help it. Reaching up to primp my hair, I accidentally knocked over a glass I had sitting on the sink. It hit the floor with a loud shatter, pieces of glass scattering all over the floor.

"Shit", I muttered while staring at the pile of glass.

"Huh?!" I heard Sarah groan. I stuck my head out the door to see her with her head lifted and her face holding a scowl.

_Nice job waking her up, dumbass. _

She still had at least an hour until Four would come in to wake the other initiates for another simulation.

"Sorry about that, just go back to sleep", I whispered. She looked around as if not knowing where the voice was coming from.

"Oh, ok." She said once she saw me standing near the bathroom. Then she shoved her head back into the pillow. I sighed in relief.

I crept back into the room, slowly laying back down. She had moved more towards the middle of the bed overnight so I couldn't be as far as I needed to be, but as close as I wanted us to be. I felt her warm body as I moved closer. I wanted so bad to wrap my arms around her and stick my face under her neck, but that sure as hell was not the right thing to do right now. It usually doesn't matter to me whether or not I do the right thing. I do what I want. But for some reason I didn't want to upset her. She felt fragile around me, as if I could break her at any second. But she also seemed strong, like I could push her against a wall and press as hard as I could, leaving her unharmed.

Resisting all of my urges, I fell back asleep with the vanilla scent of her hair floating around me.

_

**Sarah's POV**

"Get up, lazy", I heard as my eyes fluttered open. I saw Eric standing with what looked like a strange type of bread rolled up and tucked in on both ends.

"What is that?" I asked as he held it out to me.

"God, are you serious? It's a burrito, Sarah", he said with a disappointed tone. He lowered his eyebrows at me, extending his arm once more. "Take it already. It's food, not some kind of poison".

I took it from him and sniffed it. It smelt pretty good. I took a bite out of it, tasting a gooey substance. The bread tore easily and had an interesting taste. The brown substance that had been in the middle tasted even better. I stuffed it down, finishing it quicker than Eric finished his.

"Here, these should fit you", Eric said while handing me a stack of folded clothes. I took them into his bathroom and shut the door behind me. Despite how the others are, I am not comfortable with changing in front of people.

I put on the pair of leather pants and a long-sleeved, black v-neck he had given me. I looked in the mirror. They fit pretty well. The black brought out the shadows under my eyes but I didn't really care. Last night provided me with some of the best sleep I've had in a while. Then I remembered.

The image of Eric leaning towards me, staring desperately down at my lips caused a strange feeling to flow through my body. I put a hand to my mouth, rubbing the tip of my finger along my bottom lip. Hopefully that kiss wasn't the last one.

_

I waited for my name to be called while I tried to imagine what nightmare I would be facing in my second simulation today. Another fear I will have to face, and I was the least bit excited to find out what the next one would be.

"Come on Sarah", I heard Eric's voice call.

_Eric?_

I stood up and walked into the simulation room. Eric had the syringe in his hand, while Four was at the computer typing something into it.

"How ya' feeling, Amity?" Four asked from his spot. I glared down at him, wishing he would look up. He continued staring at the screen though, without seeming effected by me not responding.

I sat down in the chair, tilting my head back to lie on the headrest. Eric reached forward and stuck the needle in my neck, inserting the serum.

The last thing I saw was his face looking down at mine, his grey eyes flooding my sight.

_

I opened my eyes to see complete black. I felt my arms and legs being held. When I tried moving them, they were tied. I was trapped, again. I recognized the roaring waters once more as we neared the chasm.

"Here, you take her. I'll go keep watch", I heard Raven's voice say. She dropped my arms, letting my head smack the metal once I fell. My vision went dizzy, but I still shrieked when I saw the blurry image of who was standing in front of me. It was Niall.

He stepped over and yanked me off the ground. My arms felt like they were being ripped out of their sockets from his brutal force. He pushed me against the railing; it was all happening again. I tried tearing my arms from the rope but it was tied to securely. I screamed out for help, but the fabric was once again in my mouth, muffling my cries. He yanked it out, laughing as I gasped for air.

"Help!" I screamed. "Someone please help me!"

"No one's here to get you this time, gorgeous". Niall said before pressing his lips onto mine. I wrapped my arms around one of the bars and used them to lift my legs up and knee him right in the groin. He groaned in pain, bringing his arms down to cover it. "Oh, so that's how you want to play?" he choked out.

He reached forward and spread my legs, pushing them down with each hand. He slammed his hips into mine, making me yelp. He removed one hand and slid it down my pants. I felt his finger rub circles against the inside of my thigh as his other hand pushed my legs down. Tears were now streaming down my face, causing me to taste salt as I screamed.

"Eric! Eric, help me!" I cried, but no one appeared. 

_It will not stop until you show it you are not scared._

That's right. This is just a simulation. I tried to control my breathing. It was coming out in heavy, fast bursts. I breathed in deeply, feeling the air swell into my chest. I exhaled. I leaned forward and kissed Niall back, feeling soft, familiar lips instead of the rough ones.

I opened my eyes. I was back in the simulation room. Four and Eric were watching me with wide, open eyes. Four looked at Eric, then back at me.

My chest felt like it was about to explode with disgust as I remembered Niall's mouth pressing against mine. The feeling of his finger against my thigh flashed through my mind, and before I knew it I had leaned forward and vomited on the floor.

"There goes that burrito", Eric commented, staring at the ground with one eyebrow raised.

_

**Eric's POV**

"Sorry…" Sarah muttered while holding her stomach.

Since we were her instructors, we were able to see her simulation. We saw everything she just experienced. I felt awful watching her relive her nightmare. It took everything for me not to shake her awake when I heard her call for me. I wish I could've been there to save her again. I wish I could shelter her from every bad thing in the world. Just to hold her under my arms, protecting her. That is what I desire.

I shoved my emotions down. I didn't like feeling so open.

"Come on, let's get you up", Four soothed as he reached for her.

Not letting him touch her, I stuck my hand out between them. He looked at me with his eyebrows furrowed and confusion flooding his face.

"Why don't you get the mess cleaned up, and I'll take her back." I said, pointing to the pile of puke on the floor.

He shrugged and said a small "Ok".

I helped Sarah from the chair, guiding her out of the room. With my arm around her shoulder, I could feel her body shaking. Once we finally made it, she stumbled into my room and fell on my bed. She dragged the covers toward her and beckoned me with her hand. I looked down at her, not sure what she wanted.

"Please, Eric", she said with a shaky voice, while stretching her arms out.

"Oh, sorry", I whispered. She wanted me to lay with her. I got in bed next to her and pulled the covers around us. I will still unsure if she wanted me close to her, so I stayed at the edge of the bed. That was, until she stretched her arms around me and pulled me close to her. Her body was still shaking violently.

"Shh, you're ok", I whispered. Unable to control it, I wrapped my arms around her. I held her tightly against my body, with her head resting on my chest. My warmth calmed her, and soon she was still.

We lay there in silence, until she fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Eric's POV**

I woke up with my arms still around her. Thankfully, she hadn't moved that much during our little slumber. Her leg was drawn up, laying across mine. I smirked.

_I like this._

I rubbed my hand along her back, making a small sigh stifle from her lips. She arched her back, stretching her arms out all the way in front of her. I saw her eyes slowly drape open. She looked up at me, giving me a cheesy smile. I furrowed my eyebrows, and smiled back. I don't know how, but she always managed to look absolutely perfect when she woke up. Her hair is tousled with a few little strands in her face and her cheeks are stained pink. I had every urge to lean down and kiss her, keeping our lips locked until I was satisfied.

Unfortunately, I held back. I continued to stare at her until she looked away. I watched her fill with embarrassment as she noticed how she was laying.

"U-uh, sorry…" she stuttered while moving away. A little hint of disappointment poked in my stomach as she sat up away from me. I looked at the clock. It was past midnight.

"Wow. That was a long nap", I commented. We had slept through dinner. My stomach growled thinking about the chocolate cake I had missed. Surprisingly, I found myself not caring. This has to be the first time I've cared more about a girl than my chocolate cake.

"Yeah, well… ", she trailed off. She stared at her hands without finishing her sentence.

"Here, why don't we find something to do", I proposed. She looked up with a small hint of suspicion in her expression at first, but it faded away as I helped her off the bed. We both were still dressed from earlier that day, so we headed out the door. We climbed up the stairs that led out of Dauntless.

As she saw the night sky about her, Sarah reached out to it like it held some sort of hidden answer from her. She stared at it with a whimsical blur in her eyes. I wandered what it felt like to be so intrigued by nature. I knew she wasn't one with the Amity from the first sight I caught of her, but sometimes she held their kind face in her own and their beaming light in her eyes. It was enough to remind me where she was from, but make me grateful that she stood here with me instead of working the farms where she didn't truly belong.

She looked at me, the same glow radiating from her dazzling eyes. "I thought the initiates weren't allowed to leave the Dauntless compound", she questioned.

"Well you see, I am no initiate." I teased. I grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the train tracks. The night smelt of summer grass and the cool air blew the hum of cicadas around us. Everything felt just right. I heard the train billowing from a few feet away, catching its small beacon of light that shone in its path.

We both began running as it wove past us. I kept my hold on her hand and jumped, bringing her with me when we landed roughly in the train cart.

She sat up rubbing her head, "Well that sure was smooth".

I shot her a wide grin. "Smooth is my middle name"

When we neared my ideal destination, I waved my hand for her to get up. Within seconds we both had jumped off with ease. We walked side by side to a huge building covered with mirrored-windows. I slipped my hand through a hole in the glass that covered the door and unlocked it. We stepped inside, the dark walls echoing from our footsteps. I punched the up button on the elevator, thankful that they were somehow still on.

I looked at Sarah to see her rocking back and forth on her heels, staring at the ceiling. I often found myself dying to get inside her mind. I constantly wondered what information or wild thoughts the turning gears in her brain were digesting. It interested me that her simulation times were so short, dragging a long gap from her and the other initiates' simulation times.

When we left the elevator, the view of the rooftop greeted us with a welcoming beauty. You could see over every building in the city from where we stood. There were four chairs from when the other guys and I would come up here to drink. We would shout at the city sky, letting the Dauntless inside us echo loudly.

I walked past the chairs, letting the shadows of their memories rest there peacefully. Instead, I perched myself at the edge of the building with my feet dangling. I stared down at the street with dull pain. Sarah sat down next to me, following my gaze.

"How many have ended it here?" she asked quietly. I'm guessing she could see the sting the streets below flung onto my face, and I looked back up. I let my eyes wander the dark sky. The moon floated among it with a ghostly haze.

"I don't have a number to give you", I replied more sharply than I intended to. I felt her stiffen next to me. I instantly wanted to apologize for my tendency to act like an asshole without even trying, but I felt her hand rest on my shoulder, letting me know she accepted that I didn't want to talk about it. "My mother was one of them", I confessed. I felt the pinch in my heart from the secret I held inside me being set free. I was not one to cry, but in this moment I feared that tears would slip from my eyes as the image of my mother's pointed cheekbones and dark brown eyes filled my head.

"I'm sorry Eric, I shouldn't have asked". Her gentle voice only made me feel worse for being so closed up. Thankfully, she said no more. I knew I could trust her. Even in the short amount of time we had known each other, I felt like we had a good understanding of who we were. I viewed her as a flower that had once been a bud, sealed up with no light, pushing to get out. Once she had freed herself, her brilliant petals could show their vivid beauty, and absorb the burning sun that beamed above her. She was a powerful girl without even knowing it. Gentle, but strong. Kind, but brave.

She was everything I wish I could be.

I reached my hand to her cheek, tilting her face towards mine. I stroked my finger along her jaw, feeling her soft, sun-kissed skin. We both knew what we wanted.

I leaned forward and found her mouth with mine. The intensity of how bad I wanted her right now was obvious. I didn't desire her in some sexual way that some others might. No, I wanted her as a part of me. I wanted her body pressed to mine, with our lips burning together. I wanted to smell her sweet scent as we held each other tightly.

I pushed her down gently, letting her back lay among the building-top as I loomed over her. She looked into my eyes, hers masking a clouded thought. This girl beneath me was the only one I accepted. She saw both my cruel and gentle side, which scared me beyond my own knowledge. I leaned down to kiss her again, this time not as gentle. Every inch of my body pulsed forward, begging me to grab hold of her and never let her go. But like the wild flower I had described, she is free. I cannot tame the dancing flames that lurked behind her eyes. I only knew one thing. I wanted us to be free together.

She kissed me back, her hands wrapping around the back of my neck. She sighed into our kiss, making my heart slam against my chest. The battle of the hidden romantic and the instinctive man inside of me raged on.

My fingers tangled through her golden hair. They softly wrapped around them like gentle feathers. I brought my face away, staring back her with admiration. Nothing could ever amount to what I felt right now. I was even surprised at the sudden well of emotions inside of me at this very moment.

She watched me without a visible expression on her face, but her green eyes radiated the wild rays that beamed inside of her.

_

**Sarah's POV**

When we were back in the compound, I walked with Eric down through the tunnels that would lead us back to our rooms.

"You tired again, yet?" He asked without looking at me. He stared ahead of him, walking with his hand brushing against mine.

"A little, but I think I'm finally ready to go back to my own bed", I replied.

"If that's what you want", he said steadily.

"Oh, you're asking what I want?" I joked.

He snapped his head down to look at me with a smirk, "I guess I am"

"What I want, is sleep. Whether it's next to you or in that cramped excuse for a bed shouldn't have to be a decision", I began. "But I wouldn't want to fuel any suspicion from the others. I don't want them thinking my ranking has anything to do with me sleeping in the same room as one of the leaders".

"Maybe you are part Erudite", he chuckled. "Good point, though".

I looked at him with a little smile, and squeezed his hand. "Goodnight, Eric" I said, turning towards the dormitory. Before I walked through the doorway, I felt him pull me towards him. Instead of kissing me, he held me close to him.

"Goodnight", he whispered. And without saying anything else, he walked away.

**_**

I hope you guys liked seeing into Eric's inner thoughts! Thank you for reading, and also a thanks for the people who are reviewing (:

-Sarah 


	12. Chapter 12

**Please Read: The reason I've been updating so quickly is because I'm currently on Spring break. When schools starts up, I will be most likely updating a lot slower. I have a lot of school work to do this weekend and also I'm working on renovating my room. So please just know that I will continue updating, just it will not be as frequent as I have been.**

Thank you for reading (:

-Sarah

_

The simulations were never easy. Each time, I woke up feeling as if the air had been knocked out of my body and was replaced with vomit. Eric had been there whenever I resurfaced though, soothing the pulsing headache I awoke with.

The most recent simulations had been of some of the fears I knew I had. Watching my father's death, killing my own brother, and burning alive. I never understood why so many of my fears involved my family blaming me. In these simulations, my body felt rigid and uncapable of servicing them. Each family member would watch me with cold, pleading eyes. No matter which simulation it was, they always ended the same way. Death.

I was never good enough.

When I entered the dining hall, I started towards the table where Vera and Jack sat, stuffing their faces with chicken.

"Well, well, well. Look who finally showed up. I feel like I haven't seen you in years!", vera teased while I sat down next to her.

"Sorry, I've just had trouble sleeping in that room after what happened", I mumbled.

"What happened?", Jack asked, switching his head back and forth to look at us. I had completely forgotten that I hadn't told them.

"Well… Niall and Raven kidnapped me while I was sleeping. They tied my arms and legs and carried me towards the chasm, where they were planning to throw me off. But Niall had his own plans, and had sent Raven off to go keep watch while he… he tried to rape me", I whispered the last words while letting my eyes fall to the table.

"He tried raping you? What the hell, did you tell anyone?", Vera said furiously, bringing a hand to her mouth.

"Wait, what do you mean he tried? Did you beat his ass? Tell me you took care of him, Sarah", Jack muttered, food muffled his voice.

"No, I didn't do anything. I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.", I looked over to where Eric was sitting. He had a beer in hand and was laughing loudly at whatever story Four was telling over at their table. "But Eric walked in and tore him off of me. He saved me that night".

"Eric? You mean the one who pushed _me _off?" Vera said angrily. I nodded.

"Wait, so if you didn't sleep with us, where did you sleep?", Jack interrogated.

I could feel my face getting hot. Vera and Jack looked at eachother, smiling. Vera turned towards me again with a smirk.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh", she grinned.

I avoided both of them and reached for a piece of chicken, stabbing it with my fork. When I bit into it, flavor filled my mouth. Dauntless really did have amazing food.

"So how have your simulations been for both of you?", I asked, pricking a new conversation topic to mask over the embarrasment I felt.

"They've been awful. I'm terrified of heights. In almost each simulation I'm at least a hundred feet above ground", Jack said with a frown. "It takes me forever to calm myself".

"Oh really? How about having water fill your lungs as you drown to death. Even worse, last simulation my mother was eaten by these strange creatures I've never even seen before. It's like in the hidden darkness of my thoughts they just summoned these unimaginable things. I can't even fathom that they're real thoughts I have sheltered in my brain. It's horrible." Vera described.

"It is horrible", I agreed.

"What about yours? What do you see in your simulations?" She asked.

"I see everything. All of the guilt I have inside of me mustered into a different fear every single time. Each simulation, I'm…", I swallowed. "I'm never good enough… helpless"

"You know, there's a name for what you're talking about, the fear of never beeing good enough."

Vera and I both looked up at him, my gaze engulfing the knowledge he had streaming from his eyes.

"Atelophobia", he said while nodding. There was a long pause before Vera spoke.

"Did you sneak textbooks to Dauntless with you, or something? I swear, Jack. You may be Dauntless on the outside, but on the inside you're still the same smart ass you were before transfering", Vera said while pointing her fork at him. Jack rolled his eyes and began eating again.

_The fear of never beeing good enough_

I looked back over to Eric, who was now shoving a large bite of chocolate cake into his mouth. He almost choked on it as Max whispered something towards him, making him gag with laughter. Just as I was turning to look away, he caught my gaze. The smile faded from his face. Chin lifting, he stared back at me. Four nudged him, demonstrating something with his hands, and Eric looked away.

_

"Your turn Sarah"

I looked up at Four's stern face as he waved me over to him. This would be the last simulation until what he explained as our "Fear landscape". The fear landscape was supposed to be our final step in initiation. It would throw every fear we had trapped in the darkest part of our lives and torture us until we faced each one. Four said everyone usually had fifteen to sixteen fears to face in their landscapes. It doesn't sound like that large of a number until you face only one, and are left without a soul.

I stepped in, seeing Eric leaning against the wall with a bowl of cereal. I rolled my eyes. He finds the most inappropriate times to pig out. I sat down in the chair, feeling it's cool metal grab at my skin.

Eric reached forward with the syringe in one hand, bowl of cereal in the other. I felt the pinch in my neck, but ignored it. Eric flashed me a smile before spooning another giant pile of cereal into his mouth. I saw Four reach over and snatch a piece from Eric's bowl. Eric yanked his cereal away from him with a frown. They were such little boys.

_

I opened my eyes to see Jack and Vera standing above me. Their blank faces held no emotion. Walls of Dirt surrounded me, telling me that I was in the ground. The sky towered above me, the sun perched among it with a white glow. I tried to reach out to them, but my arms wouldn't lift.

"You guys, what's going on?", I called out.

"It's a shame she couldn't make it to the end of initiation" Jack whispered.

"Yeah, I'm going to miss her". Vera added. Then they both looked at eachother and bursted into a fit of laughter.  
I stared at them with confusion nipping at my head. What were they talking about?

Jack reached down to grab an object I couldn't see. When he returned to his position, he was carrying a shovel.

_Oh God._

"Jack, what are you doing?" I yelled. It seemed as if he couldn't hear me. He stuck the shovel out, pulling it back for me to see it holding a heap of dirt. He tossed it down on me, letting it sink down on top of me. I tried to lift my arms again so I could cover my face, but they were still stuck. The dirt splattered across me, making me spit out the grains that had fallen over my lips. "Jack, stop!"

Vera looked at me with the same empty stare. Her eyes met mine, but she did not speak. She stood, helpless.

"I'm alive! Stop shoveling dirt at me, please! Stop it!", I wailed, but they were deaf to my cries. Jack continued to sling the dirt down at me, letting it pile on top of my body. If they continued, I would suffocate.

Dirt now covered my face, suppressing my breaths. I couldn't even move my head to shake it off. I was paralyzed.

Could I die in a simulation?

_simulation_

That's right. I was in a simulation. None of what was happening was real. I felt my arms lift as I tried once again to pull them from their dead state. I pushed on the dirt that piled above me, feeling it lift with ease. I stuck my hand out, letting the air dance through my fingers. I felt another strong hand grasp mine, tugging on it. I felt myself being pulled through the dirt. My heart raced as I caught a glimpse of the sky. When the dirt rolled off of me, I sucked a huge breath of air in. It felt refreshing inside of my burning lungs. I needed more.

_

I sat up gasping, my chest rising and falling quickly. It was just Eric in the room now. The bowl sat empty on the table next to him.

"Three minutes", he said blankly. I stared at him, wondering what he was trying to explain with those two words. He stood up and walked over to me, placing a hand on the arm rest of the chair I was sitting in. "Sarah, what were your aptitude test results?"

I stared at him with wide eyes, trying to find what to tell him. Jacqueline had entered Amity into the computer. "Amity."

"Really?" he paused. " I think we both know that's a lie." He said while scratching his shoulder. "You can trust me, you know." His eyes lowered.

I sighed. "Inconclusive", I shot out. He looked up at me, his eyes still clouded. "My test resuslts were inconclusive".

I sat on his bed, watching as he paced back and forth in front of me.

"They can't find out", he muttered.

"Who?" I asked, but he didn't reply. He continued pacing. "Answer me Eric. I'm so confused. Why isn't anyone telling me what is so dangerous about my test results?" I blurted.

"I'm not answering you because I don't have an answer for you! All I know, is that Max and Four have both said bad things about initiates who they found out were divergent. People, I don't know who, are on the lookout for people like you. They're hunting you, because they're scared." He said.

"Scared? Scared of what?" my fingers clutched the sheets

"I don't know, Sarah. I don't know". He stood still for a second, his eyebrows lowered. For once, he looked worn out. He bit his lip then looked at me. "Who recorded your results?"

"A woman named Jacqueline. She was Dauntless. Why?", I replied.

He didn't answer me. Instead, he reached for the door and swung it open.

"Wait, Eric! Where are you going?", I yelled.

He stopped, turning slightly so I could see the side of his face.

"To find her."

**Sorry if there are any errors. My laptop was not informing me on any mistakes I had made for some reason. Anyways, Thanks for reading.**

-Sarah 


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone! I've gotten some of my work done, but now it seems I'm becoming sick. Is anyone else experiencing their spring allergies already? Mine are awful. Anyways, hopefully you guys are ok with the slower updates. It's just what works better with my busier schedule. Thank you for your patience and your time invested in reading my story.**

-Sarah

_

"What do you want me to tell you? I know just as much as the both of you. Very little. My father used to tell me to stay away from divergents. They're dangerous in some shape or form that I cannot tell you, because I don't know!" Jacqueline explained with her lips turned in a frown. At the word dangerous, Eric turned his head to look at me. I stared back at him with a blank expression. How am I dangerous?

"My divergence doesn't make me dangerous. I'm not looking to hurt anyone, so how am I threat?" I pondered out loud.

"They're not scared of your physical power, but what's inside here", she said while pointing at her head. "You don't conform to one faction like the rest of us. You don't fit in. You're different"

"So once again, what am I threatening?" I said, now frustrated.

"Society", Eric answered lowly.

I scowled at his response. Am I really a danger to society, just because I'm not suitable to only one faction? Does that really make me a threat?

"So what do I do?" I asked.

"Don't let the others find out. Do what I instructed you the day of your test, and keep your mouth shut about it. You never know who you can trust", she answered while slipping her eyes over Eric, and walked out without shutting the door behind her.

_

I sat on the metal bridge of the chasm, letting the rushing waves below sizzle the flames I felt burning inside my head. After Jacqueline had left, Eric had continued to tell me what he thinks I should do. He said that divergence is more apparent during your mental examinations. For example, simulations. He had noticed my difference from other initiates by my ability to stay awake in my simulations, my skill of realization. He instructed that during my fear landscape I should act as a Dauntless would, and not a divergent. The only problem is that I do not recognize the difference.

"Tomorrow, when you're in your landscape, don't do the first thing that pops into your head. Think hard on it. What would I do? Think about yours friends and how they would react. Think out of Bravery." He had directed.

I stood up, just as my brain felt as if it would burst. I walked towards the dining hall, letting the smell of freshly cooked meat flood my nose. I found Vera, Jack, and David sitting at their usual table and took a seat next to Jack.

"Why are you always late to eat?" David asked while peeking his head past Jack to look at me.

"I wonder the same thing", I said while grabbing a hamburger from the bowl in the center. I felt a weight shift next to me, and turned to see Eric. The others made uncomfortable glances at one another, then looked back at me.

"Can I help you?" I asked him with an eyebrow raised.

"Yes, you can. Pass me a hamburger", he replied while nodding his head towards the table. I glared at him. He shrugged "What?"

I sighed while shaking my head and reached over to grab a burger. "Nothing."

"So, how is everyone doing? You guys ready to face your fears for us tomorrow?" Eric conversed.

"Uh… as ready as we'll ever be", Vera muttered with a fake smile thrown onto her face.

"Wait, so you're going to be watching us while we face _every _single fear that we have?" David asked nervously.

"Yes, that is exactly what we're going to be doing. In addition, we're going to be judging how you face them ", Eric replied flatly with a grin. "Why?"

"Don't you think that's a little invasive?" Vera questioned, attitude pricking through her strong voice

"What I _think_…" Eric began, annoyance boiling in his eyes, "is that you need to stop worrying about your embarrassment and instead focus on not acting like such a little baby. Make that all of you"

I flicked my eyes to his, meeting his fiery gaze with mine. I felt my shoulders prick with the urge to slap him. He invites himself over here, just to make fun of us

"You know, I think you have some things to focus on as well". I stated, my stare hardening.

"And what do you suggest that is, huh?" he said.

"Spending your time with people who want you around." My fingers twitched as I continued. "Why are you even sitting here? To annoy us? Mock us? Or is just me that you want to infuriate? Do me a favor Eric, and just fuck off", I spat. I hadn't realized just how much anger had mustered up inside of me while he was talking.

He raised both of his eyebrows, surprised at my sudden outburst.

He stood up and grabbed my shoulder. I tried yanking his grip away, but he held it tightly.

"There's the Dauntless", he growled while winking, then stalked off towards Max and Four.

_

"I don't see why you even talk to him. He's a complete douche", Vera commented as we changed into our pajamas.

"Not all the time", I mumbled quietly, not letting my eyes meet hers. Why am I defending him? He acted like a total asshole in the dining hall.

"Besides the fact that he saved you, when is that man not a prick? Tell me, I'd love to know. Other than the fact that he's hot with a set of gorgeous arms, what is there to like about him?" she questioned. 

"He's kinder than you think, I promise. He's different when no one else is around." I answered. Then I paused, "You think he's hot?"

She laughed, "Oh don't worry, honey. I'm not out for your man. I have my eyes on Four, that handsome little thing" she said with a smirk.

I joined in with her laugh, smiling back at her "Whatever you say."

That night I lay in bed staring at the blackness above me. Tomorrow I would have to act Dauntless. Why does that sound so hard? I'm here now, aren't I? Being within the top five of the rankings, I should have nothing to worry about. I'm more Dauntless than I've ever been. But will my toughness and my bravery be enough to mask my divergence?

I guess I'll find out.

We all will.

**_**

I know that was a short chapter, but trust me. I will be adding another one after it soon. Hopefully I'm not burning too much time with everyone's patience.  
Thank you for reading, and I hope you continue to do so!

-Sarah 


	14. Update

**Hey everyone. This will not be a new chapter, just an alert. The next chapter will most likely be posted later this week, towards the weekend. I am overwhelmed with school work while also attempting to study for exams that are coming up. Please be patient and allow me to update at a time that fits my schedule. Thank you for reading, and I hope you continue to do so.**

-Sarah


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